Liza Marquez Sues David Caruso, Prompts Question: How Does Caruso Get The Ladies?

Liza Marquez appeared in an L.A. court yesterday to file a suit against David Caruso. She says she met Caruso on the set of CSI: Sunglasses back in 2004 and that he’s the father of her womb trolls. She’s but one in a long line of (three) women driven to desperate action by The ‘Rus. Why?

You may recall that, for a time, David Caruso was stalked by an Austrian woman who had taken to hiding in Mexico. She had begun to leave the actor death threats after he ignored the 100 letters she had sent him, asking for an autograph.

But, little did Insane Austrian Woman know, David Caruso is actually a robot built for sex - but, in a tragic flaw, built without the capacity to love!

In 1994, Caruso’s ex-girlfriend Paris Papiro (hot name), sued him for “palimony” - the term used for a non-marital relationship “contract.” Basically, she sued him for cheating on her. Paris Papiro, he knows no other way!

As for Liza Marquez, she claims that the two allegedly began living together after Caruso assured Marquez that he would provide for her.

I CANNOT LUV U. SRRYBYE.

Liza also says she was told by Caruso that he loved her, which is a blatant lie considering David Caruso has now been reprogrammed to instill fear and maintain order in the smoldering ruins of a post-apocalyptic Miami.

The couple had two children together but, after the birth of the second, Caruso left the family, riding away on his majestic robo-horse as what was left of the general populace writhed in terror. Liza is suing David for fraud, breach of settlement and emotional duress.

And this is why you must never get involved with David Caruso. Never… with… David. Caruso.
 

JILTED BABY MAMA SUES CARUSO [National Enquirer]