Iran Bans Facebook After No One Friends Prez

TEHRAN, Iran (CAP) - The Iranian Labour News Agency (ILNA) reports Iran's new ban on Facebook is aimed to stop supporters of reformist presidential candidate Mir Hossein Mousavi from using the site. But CAP News has learned that the ban also comes in the wake of the failure of its incumbent president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, to garner more than a handful of "friends."

"He was very annoying, sending out the Pokes all the time," said one of the few Iranians who had accepted Ahmadinejad's friend requests, and who spoke under condition of anonymity. "He started with the Pokes, then it was on to the Super Pokes.

"Then he kept sending me Nicest Person On Facebook requests, but I don't think he really thought I was that nice. I think he was just sucking up to me."

A screen-shot of Ahmadinejad's profile page shows he had created a "LivingSocial" survey of his Top 5 Islamic Republic Leaders, each of which was a different picture of himself. And the result of his "Which Islamic Republic Leader Are You?" quiz was Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

"I don't think he really understood how Facebook was supposed to work," said the source, noting that Ahmadinejad didn't seem to realize his wall posts were public.

At one point he posted on Supreme Leader of Iran Ayatollah Ali Khamenei's wall, "I hate Israel - I wish we could just blow them up already," leading Israel to respond, "Hello! I'm right here!"

"Direct message, Mahmoud, direct message!" Khamenei then replied.

This is in contrast to Mousavi, Ahmadinejad's opponent, whose savvy use of Facebook has garnered him more than 5,000 friends, although it's hard to tell them apart since more than 3,000 of them are women in burkas named Anoosheh.

Mousavi also has hundreds of Pieces Of Flair posted to his profile, mostly with Persian sayings and patriotic Iranian slogans, except for the several dozen featuring characters from TV's The Office.

"You can see why my opponent wanted to keep people from my Facebook page, after what he did with his," said Mousavi. "Did you read his 25 Random Things?"

Ahmadinejad's list of 25 random things you might not have known about him included such entries as "I hate Israel," "When I was in school kids would make fun of my name and call me Mou-Mou," and "We're this close to having the nukes ready."

"Direct message, Mahmoud, direct message!" replied Khamenei, whom Ahmadinejad had "tagged" in the note.

Since the Facebook ban, Mousavi has moved on to Twitter, although he says it's much more difficult to engage his opponent in 140 characters or less.

"Mahmoud Ahmadinejad - that's 19 characters right there," Mousavi pointed out. "But I find I can save space if I just refer to him as Mou-Mou."