COUGOLITH: Melinda Clarke
Oh, Melinda Clarke how to even write about you? How to let readers know how special you are, how much more you are than your “breakout” role on The OC as Julie Cooper?
I will start by saying that Melinda Clarke was born to be a cougar, in fact I would bet apples against bananas that Melinda came out of the womb thirty years old with a big ol’ pair of sunglasses and a pink Motorola RAZR. She did a lot of acting in the nineties but it wasn’t until her cougar awakening in the OC that she stole America’s heart.
Around this time, young men started hanging out in dimly lit bars, hoping to be caught in a cougar trap. She is the gold standard of cougars and rumor has it, the International Organization for Standardization keeps a genetically perfect cloned copy of Melinda Clarke deep within a climate controlled vault in Brussels, to judge other cougars against.
Melinda just turned 40 in April and has never looked better nor been so on top of her cougar brand and career. She is a self described cigar and Chardonnay aficianado, as if she wasn’t already perfect. Melinda, Manolith salutes you and can’t wait to see you “come to win and not make friends” on assorted Vh1 reality shows over the next ten years.
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