Mental Poo - random musings

My last vacation of the summer is upon me. This time, we're taking the kids with us. And, F*CK NO, it's not back to Disney. You shit ONE TIME on the "It's a Small World" ride and they never forgive you. Asshole mouse. No - this time we're taking the kids up to Northern New Hampshire. New Hampshire state motto: "If you use enough butter, a sheep's ass feels just like vagina!" We're taking the kids to a hotel that has an indoor water park. The last time we went to a water park, my... Read Full Story

It's another time for an exciting episode of "Dear Moog"... Where, they say, "the pen is mightier than the sword." Unless you're John Holmes... ...I'm pretty sure his sword could have killed small elephants. ********************** Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any stupid sh*t you do to yourself or others as a result of taking any of my advice seriously. There, I think that covers it. You've been warned. *********************** Today's letter comes from Kath. Kath writes: Dear... Read Full Story

It’s time once again for Moog’s Movie Reviews!! Where I like to watch movies with "Jiffy Pop." Ironically, "Jiffy Pop" also describes me having sex. Girls can be mean. Today's review is from my Netflix list: Vantage Point Here's how to determine whether or not you're going to like Vantage Point in a nutshell: If you are watching something with someone that requires rewinding/fast forwarding (i.e., Tivo, DVR, etc.)... ...and the person with the clicker keeps fast-forwarding TOO far... Read Full Story

For those of you who haven't read the review yet of the "Sex and the City" movie over on: Moog's Movie Reviews! Here you go... ****************************************************** It’s time once again for Moog’s Movie Reviews!! Where I'd give a movie "Thumbs Up"... ...but I'd have to get them out of my ass first. And no one wants that. Today I’m reviewing: Sex and the City: The Movie Yeah. Right. Listen folks…. …the only way I’d go see that f*cking movie is if one of the... Read Full Story

It's another time for an exciting episode of "Dear Moog"... Where I take giving out advice as seriously as I take my responsibility to maintaining a healthy environment. Hold on a sec... I just ran over a hippie with my Hummer. I knew I should have waited to eat my manatee sandwich until I got home. Oh well. On the bright side, though: One less hippie! ********************** Disclaimer: I am not responsible for any stupid sh*t you do to yourself or others as a result of taking any... Read Full Story