They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. But I tried to make
it at home; there's more to it than that. "Want some more homemade
Sprite?" "Not 'til you figure out what the fuck else is in it!
My fake plants died, because I did not pretend to water them.
I didn't sleep for ten days, because that would be too long.
I wanted to get a parrot, but I got a taperecorder instead. They
serve the same basic purpose, but you'll never hear of a taperecorder
escaping in the name of freedom.
A friend said he wanted to show me a picture of when he was
younger. Every picture is of you when you were younger.
"Here's a picture of me when I'm older." "Son of a bitch.
Let me see that camera."
Trying to find a video of Mitch Hedberg on Letterman.The first time I saw Mitch Hedberg do stand-up was on Letterman. At some point during his routine, he reached into his pocket to pull out a scrap of paper with a joke on it and said something like, "This is unprecedented." I'm pretty sure "unprecedented" was the word. I would love to see this video again but have had no luck finding it on youtube or attempting to Google it. I'm not sure...
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 29, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. Hedberg's comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes, and observational comedy, mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs. Hedberg's comedy and on-stage persona...more
Mitchell Lee "Mitch" Hedberg (February 24, 1968 – March 29, 2005) was an American stand-up comedian known for his surreal humor and unconventional comedic delivery. Hedberg's comedy typically featured short, sometimes one-line jokes, and observational comedy, mixed with absurd elements and non sequiturs. Hedberg's comedy and on-stage persona gained him a cult following, with audience members sometimes shouting out the punchlines to his jokes before he could finish them.