Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

I'm drawing a LIGER.  It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.
  
Well, you have a sweet bike. And you're really good at hooking up with chicks. Plus you're like the only guy at school who has a mustache.
 
Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner.  Tina, eat! Food! Eat the food!
 
Sorry I'm late. I just got done taming a wild honeymoon stallion for you guys.
 
My old girlfriend from Oklahoma was gonna fly out for the dance but she couldn't cause she's doing some modeling right now.
 
Just follow your heart. That's what I do.
 
[Hitch-hiking] Are you guys like Pedro's cousins with all the sweet hook-ups?
 
Pedro offers you his protection.
 
You guys having a killer time?
 
Well, I have all your equipment in my locker.  You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore.
 
Napoleon Dynamite You know… there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo-staff.
 
You wanna play me?
 
 
Scenes:
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Napoleon Dynamite - Well, will you do me a favor then? Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip - No, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite - But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip - Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has like five sticks in her drawer.
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Don - Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again?
Napoleon Dynamite - I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
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Grandma - How was school?
Napoleon Dynamite - Worst day of my life, what do you THINK?
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Rex [Rex Kwan Do] - we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you're gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here?[re Napoleon]
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Pedro - If I win, you can be my secretary or something.
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Uncle Rico - How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains? Yeah. Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would've been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
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Napoleon Dyanmite - Who you gonna ask [to the dance]?
Pedro - That girl over there.
Napoleon Dynamite - Summer Wheatley? How the heck are ya gonna do that?
Pedro -  I don't know.  Build her a cake or something.
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Napoleon Dynamite - Well, what is there to eat?
Grandma - Knock it off Napoleon, just make yourself a dang quesa-dilluh!
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Napoleon Dynamite -  What are you doing here Uncle Rico?
Uncle Rico - Grandma took a little spill at the sand dunes today. Broke her coccyx.
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Uncle Rico - What about your girlfriend?
Kip - Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious.
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Trisha - Thanks for the beautiful drawing. It's hanging in my room right now.
Napoleon Dynamite - Really? It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done.
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Uncle Rico - I wish you wouldn't look at me like that, Napoleon.
Napoleon Dynamite - I wish you'd get out of my life and shut up!
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Uncle Rico - We also need some way to make us look official, like we got all the answers.
Kip - How bout some gold bracelets?
Uncle Rico - We need like some name tags with our picture on it, all laminated and what not. I mean, we gotta look legit man.
Kip - That's true, that's true.
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Kip - So, how long are we takin' about workin'?
Uncle Rico - What? Are you? you're already losing your steam?
Kip - No. I just? I have a chat room meeting at 4:00. I gotta be back here by then.