The Obduracy of Malignant Narcissism

Narcissistic personality disorder is aptly characterized as a "disorder of the self." That's because the narcissist can't stand his or her self. But instead of reforming the true self, narcissists cheat. They just project a false image of their self.

And the first person they tell this lie to is themselves. It's just a stupid mental game (of self-delusion) that anyone could play. They believe the false image in the mirror; they IDENTIFY with it.

The mental problem this twisted thinking creates is twofold:

A. When you deny your true self's very existence, it doesn't matter how depraved you let it become. That doesn't count = you are totally amoral. No conscience.

B. Since your false image is just a phantom, there is no limit to how grandiose you can make it with nothing but smoke and mirrors.

Result of both A and B? You'll stoop to anything to make others look bad in order to make your false self look grandiose by comparison.

And what about the guilt and shame you incur in the process? You must project it off onto a scapegoat, preferably the very victim. Now your perversity is perfect.

And then there's even more guilt and shame to smear off on someone else.

See what's happening? Every smear just produces more to smear.

This is why malignant narcissism is a runaway freight-train ride from childhood on, a vicious cycle of bad behavior that soon passes a point of no return - when you do something so evil that you'll never be able to get real and face your true self in a mirror.

The things you do to trample others ("glorify" yourself) this way are abhorrent. People would abhor you if they knew. Indeed, you would abhor yourself if you faced facts about what you have become.

So, don't expect an adult narcissist to change. It ain't gonna happen.

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