Neifi Perez Is a Dumbass

Detroit Tigers crappy infielder Neifi Perez was suspended for 80 games Friday after testing positive for the third time for continuing to take stimulants, finishing off his worthless season.

Perez was grounded for 25 games on July 6th when he failed a stimulants test for the second time, and was technically still under suspension until after tonight's game against the Chicago White Sox.

He has been the only player stupid enough to get caught three times since stimulants were banned before the 2006 season.

Perez will miss the final 54 games of the regular season and finish serving the suspension next year. That is, if some hard-up team is desperate enough to sign a troubled utility infielder who bats under .200.

The 34-year-old switch-hitter was hitting .172 with one home run and six RBIs in 64 at-bats for the defending AL Champs, with possibly his most memorable moment in a Detroit uni coming when he started a sweet double play to end the eighth inning of Justin Verlander's no-hitter earlier in the season.

He didn't always suck at life and baseball. Perez actually won a Gold Glove at shortstop in 2000 with the Colorado Rockies.

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