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VooDoo Sabermetrics: Elijah Dukes

By sooze on | From babeslovebaseball.com
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our eleventh edition of VooDoo Sabermetrics . This week's subject is Washington Nationals screw-up and all-around scary mother-effer reformed outfielder Elijah Dukes . You're in for a treat, since we have some new VooDooers and not one, not two, but THREE Youtube videos for your enjoyment. Sooze, Babes Love Baseball and Fantasy Pros 911 Jolliness - Jolly is not the first adjective that comes to mind when I hear the name Elijah Dukes. In fact, he scares the...Read Full Story

Elijah Dukes: Don't Be Scared

By sooze on | From babeslovebaseball.com
Stu -- which is obviously short for Stud -- brought to our attention that we hadn't posted about Elijah Dukes ' most recent run-in with the long [member] of the law. Little does he know, we were out obtaining our own restraining orders on the troubled Washington Nationals outfielder. That kind of thing takes time, and offers very little room for things like blogging. In any case, now that we're safe from impregnation, we can tell you all about how Dukes was the only one to show up for court...Read Full Story

Elijah Dukes is so Serious this Time

By sooze on | From babeslovebaseball.com
Elijah Dukes is a new man. He reported to Washington Nationals spring training camp Wednesday, taking questions during a news conference about his troubled past (threatening his estranged wife, ongoing paternity suits, smoking grass) and his once bright future. "I know I have to get it together now," Dukes said. The 23-year-old outfielder credits his sudden turnaround to frequent phone calls from teammate Dmitri Young , who overcame his own adversities over the past couple of years. Hopefully...Read Full Story

Under The Bleachers

By sooze on | From babeslovebaseball.com
We met up with Tampa Bay Devil Rays outfielder Elijah Dukes this afternoon to talk about his many adventures in sperm donating. Lizzy : "Elijah, we could begin the interview if you'd kindly get your hands the hell off of me." Dukes : "Pssh. Whatever, dawg." Sooze : "It seems yet another young lady has named you the father of her baby - a seventeen-year-old foster child?" Dukes : "She said she was 18, yo." Lizzy : "Luckily for you, there will be no legal ramifications since the age of consent...Read Full Story

Washington Nationals Fans Are Not Happy About Elijah Dukes At All...

By oriolepost on | From oriolepost.blogspot.com
As a fan in the Washington area, I see there are there a lot of people, and I mean a lot of people, that are not happy online. A good barometer of how fans feel come from wbsites and blogs, and it is almost universal that people in the Washington region give a big thumbs down to the move. It looks like Rays' fans are elated that Dukes is out of their hair; however, a lot of Nationals fans are livid and some outright fearful that he'll do something crazy. I read a lot of blogs, and besides the...Read Full Story
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