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Infidelity isn't something people like to talk about -- much less confess. Does anyone really want to admit cheating on a spouse, especially to a pollster. But the following poll results might help put in perspective the frequency and number of adulterers.
Infidelity statistics
It's tough to get a handle on how many of us are having affairs, given the inherent secrecy.
- 22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives.
- 14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives.
- Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful.
- 70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity.
- 5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in the 1997.
- 22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past.
- 90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong.
- 50 percent of Americans say President Clinton's adultery makes his moral standard "about the same as the average married man,'' according to a Time-CNN poll.
- 61 percent of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United states; 35 percent thought it should; 4 percent had no opinion.
- 17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.
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April 22, 2009 (Los Angeles, CA) The future of cheating has arrived, courtesy of the world's largest infidelity dating site. In response to increased public demand for further ways to engage in discreet affairs, AshleyMadison.com launched Ashley Madison Mobile® allowing users with Mobile devices to "Have an Affair. Anywhere." As Ashley Madison founder, Noel Biderman, explains, "Millions have people said they would have an affair if the right opportunity presented itself. Here is their opportunity."
History has shown that cases of infidelity significantly increase as society provides people with more opportunities to cheat. The first major shift occurred when women entered the workplace, introducing them to a whole new level of freedom, as well as a whole new dating pool of men. Another major spurt resulted from the introduction of the internet and infidelity sites such as AshleyMadison.com. Now, with the launch of Ashley Madison Mobile, cheating has become easier and more progressive than ever.
According to Biderman, "Before the introduction of Ashley Madison Mobile, our members typically used the service while in the private confines of their office work station. Now with Ashley Madison Mobile, you're free to connect with your lovers throughout the day...on the train coming into work, waiting at the airport, or even late at night while your spouse is more focused on the TV than you."
Consumer adoption has already been higher than anticipated with thousands of people signing up to the Beta service within the first few hours. According to Biderman, "The Beta was only meant for our engineers to test out the service. We didn't even advertise it. This is proof that this feature is going to change society as we know it."
Ashley Madison Mobile is sure to forever change the way people pursue their indiscretions. AshleyMadison.com already boasts over 3.5 million members and Biderman believes that number could reach 20 million with the continued adoption of iPhones®, Blackberries® and other 3G devices.
With a new member joining every 15 seconds, Ashley Madison has been featured on Good Morning America, Ellen Degeneres, Dr. Phil, Larry King, Tyra Banks, Howard Stern, and all over the news media.
ince the advent of internet romances, the playing field has been wide open-- not only is it much easier to meet people outside of your normal social circle, but thanks to online matchmaking services, like The Ashley Madison Agency, the odds of finding someone you desire for a romantic tryst are easier than ever. People are still concerned about safety issues, but those worries are easily quelled. Meeting someone through The Ashley Madison Agency is inherently similar to meeting through specialized offline venues and as long as the same standards of safety are followed, you can feel truly at ease while getting to know each other in this new social scene. Just trust your instincts and use common sense.
Don't give out any personal information until your instincts tell you that this is someone you can trust. It's difficult to get a sense from just a few emails or phone calls. THE MONOGAMY MYTH & THE PREVELANCE OF AFFAIRSBy Peggy Vaughan
Monogamy is something most people say they believe in and want for themselves. Every survey ever done on this question shows a high percentage of people think monogamy is important to marriage and that affairs are wrong. And most people, when they marry, "intend" to be monogamous. But a belief in monogamy as an ideal doesn't prevent large numbers of people from having extramarital affairs.
Since we can't effectively address a problem until we properly identify the nature of the problem, the first step is to raise awareness of the prevalence of affairs. Many people question the prevalence of affairs, looking to whatever particular study or survey will reinforce their belief/hope that most people are monogamous.
One reason it's so difficult for people to accurately determine the meaning behind any particular study is that there are such subtle forces involved that affect the outcome. For instance, those studies that look only at the incidence of affairs in the "current marriage" fail to reflect the larger picture of the overall prevalence of affairs. For the people to whom this has happened, the experience LASTS A LIFETIME, regardless of whether it happened in the "current marriage." And statistics that distort this reality by focusing only on the "current marriage" fail to be meaningful.
(By the way, the very fact that divorce and remarriage are so common has also complicated the reliability of any statistics that look at monogamy in a given marriage. Since marriages tend to last a shorter period of time than in the past, some people manage to maintain monogamy during this shorter period of time—NOT a positive indicator for monogamy or for marriage.)
Likewise, those studies that look only at the incidence of affairs in the "current year" also fail to reflect the larger picture. It's like saying that even though lots of women get breast cancer, a small percentage of them get it in "any given year." For those of us who have had breast cancer, the fact that we got it in "one particular year" does not diminish it's significance or relevance to the overall picture. Again, statistics that distort the overall reality of affairs by focusing only on the "current year" also fail to be meaningful.
Those of us who have looked at a wide range of studies recognize the "myth" of believing that most people are monogamous. Here are some statistics based not on any one specific study, but on what we see as the "general consensus" of researchers who have studied this issue:
According to Annette Lawson, author of "Adultery," first published in 1989 by Basic Books.
"The various researchers arrive at a general consensusÖsuggesting that above one-quarter to about one-half of married women have at least one lover after they are married in any given marriage. Married men probably still stray more often than married women—perhaps from 50 percent to 65 percent by the age of forty."
According to Maggie Scarf, author of "Intimate Partners," first published in 1987 by Random House, re-issued in 1996 by Ballentine.
"Most experts do consider the 'educated guess' that at the present time some 50 to 65 percent of husbands and 45 to 55 percent of wives become extramaritally involved by the age of 40 to be a relatively sound and reasonable one."
According to Peggy Vaughan, author of "The Monogamy Myth", first published in 1989 by Newmarket Press, re-issued in 1998 by the same publisher.
"Conservative estimates are that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women will have an extramarital affair. These figures are even more significant when we consider the total number of marriages involved, since it's unlikely that all the men and women having affairs happen to be married to each other. If even half of the women having affairs (or 20 percent) are married to men not included in the 60 percent having affairs, then at least one partner will have an affair in approximately 80 percent of all marriages. With this many marriages affected, it's unreasonable to think affairs are due only to the failures and shortcomings of individual husbands or wives."
Note that the above assessments of the prevalence of affairs were made about a decade ago; so based on changes in society during the intervening years, the current percentage of the population who have had affairs is probably somewhat HIGHER. For instance, the continuing increase of women in the workplace and the increase of women having affairs on the Internet means that the numbers for women having affairs is probably similar to those for men—about 60%.
The effect of believing that most marriages or committed relationships are monogamous is that if an affair happens, it's seen strictly as a Personal Issue requiring "therapy" for the individual who failed to be monogamous. But by acknowledging the prevalence of affairs (and the societal factors that undermine monogamy), we see that this is also a Societal Issue requiring "education" for all of us in using responsible honesty to support our efforts to be monogamous. The irony of the Monogamy Myth (believing that most people are monogamous and that affairs happen only to a few "bad" or "weak" people) is that it prevents us from dealing with the issues that need to be addressed in order to make monogamy a more attainable goal for everyone.
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