PETA Is Petty

If you have not heard about the recent act of violence against a fly that caused PETA to start throwing darts at Obama's picture, then you probably were too stubborn to actually abide by the well-needed digital converter box purchase that Americans were finally forced to buy within the last month. That is your prerogative. But even I know that you will be missing out on a lot of humor if you do not convert soon. The Arcade Fire may call it the "Antichrist Television Blues," but I say it is worth it.

For the past week, sifting through millions of tweets and news articles has not appealed to me. Besides, I have actually been busy, and am due to be busy again tomorrow. Thus, when I started to read articles and see broadcasts on PETA mourning the loss of a fly, I thought I had missed something. I instantly began imagining the possibility this fly was one that had undergone some intense super-genome experiment and as such was invaluable to some crucial scientific exploration. But then I came to more realistic conclusions. Even though it is not beneath HLM Research Laboratories to waste their last remaining dollars on ridiculous experiments, does not mean all research labs are willing to do the same. I did further research to find exactly what had peeved PETA, and after reading their blog, I realized I was not missing a thing.

Two things stuck out in my mind:

1. I understand that this organization is built around the rights of animals. I respect that. Pouching and abuse disgusts me as much as the next person. But why does an animal-based organization care about an insect--one that is not any bigger than a small coin, and is a pest to all and friend to none? They serve no purpose other than to gather around the crap in your backyard and make it even more obvious to your neighbors that your dogs have abnormal bowel problems.
   
2. The organization actually decided to give the president a bug-catcher. I personally enjoyed the Jet-Li inspired swat Obama used to kill the little vermin. Maybe PETA members are Kung Fu haters? Regardless, no one can say Obama does not have mad skills, and I think he should exploit that while he is still in office.

Whether it is the Islamic scoffing at the bottom of his nice leather shoes, or PETA loathing our president's decision to not let the small buzzing git fly around his head incessantly, everyone has to get a piece of Obama!

I think it is ironic that the man that was glorified for being the first biracial president thus bringing real change into the White House, has done nothing but caused more "controversy."

PETA, stop being so petty; I am sure you have better things to do.