Emmy Awards Fug or Fab Ceremony: Jennifer Love Hewitt and Hayden Panettiere

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT: I am SKINNY and TAN now. I’m like the Lauren Conrad of ghost whispering!

HAYDEN PANETTIERE: Do I look old enough to be dating a 30-something man? I do, right? This is sufficiently mature, isn’t it? I look like a grown-up woman, don’t I? 

J. LO. HEW: Take that, all you douchewads who said I was fat! Wait until you have to sit through the 90-minute infomercial for the diet and exercise DVD I’m making right now! I’m calling it Party Of Five; Eating For One, Exercising for Four and you can get it for only five low payments of .99!

HAYDEN: I really don’t want anyone to pay any attention to me, actually. Maybe if I could just blend into the background. Please, please don’t ask me if Heroes is better this year.

J. LO. HEW: I didn’t need those boobs!!

HAYDEN: I have like fifteen years to look young and hot, right? I mean, I’m going to be nubile for a while, aren’t I? Like, I can be super demure right now and then later, I can pull out all the Hot Young Girl stops, can’t I? I have some time for that, right? I mean, I’m not blowing my chances right now, don’t you think? I’m not going to look back on this and me all, “damn, why didn’t I just wear open toe shoes?” am I? I’m not going to regret this, am I? AM I????

J. LO. HEW: WHEE!! US WEEKLY, CALL ME!!