Lessons on how to confront from the Celebrity Apprentice

Those who know me know that I am a reality TV junkie. I enjoy watching shows like the Amazing Race, the Biggest Loser, Survivor and Celebrity Apprentice. I know that the term "reality TV" is an oxymoron in many ways but once in a while a notable moment of real life emerges on these shows. Last night the Celebrity Apprentice had one of those moments. For those who don't know what the Celebrity Apprentice is click here. One of the celebrities on this year's show is Dennis Rodman. Dennis is well known for his "bad boy" image. Up to this point in the season Rodman has done very little in any of the challenges that his team has been presented with. In almost every challenge he would take off and go drinking (which takes us to last night's episode). Last night his behaviour finally was challenged by fellow teammate Jesse James. In the Board Room Jesse James passionately challenged Dennis Rodman and told him he had a drinking problem.

A few things struck me about how Jesse James confronted Dennis Rodman. I want to share four lessons we can learn from what he did when it comes to confronting someone:

1. We must have a real concern for the person that we are confronting. Jesse James confronted Dennis Rodman because he saw that Rodman was self destructing and he genuinely wanted to help him. You could tell that Jesse was very passionate about what he was saying and it came from a place of real concern. This has to be an integral part of any meaningful confrontation. Without real concern our words are going to fall on deaf ears.
   
2. We must not confront from a place of superiority. Jesse James confronted Dennis Rodman from a place of equality and humility. He admitted that he had been there too and he had experienced the consequences of that lifestyle. He wasn't trying to put Rodman down or belittle him. We must be VERY VERY careful that we confront from a place of humility and not superiority.
   
3. We must keep focused on the issue at hand. When confronted our natural reaction is to become defensive. Dennis Rodman was no exception last night. At one point he actually tried to use Jesse James' past against him. James' beautifully kept his cool (even though you could visibly see that it hurt him) and he brought Rodman back to the issue at hand which was Rodman's drinking problem. Rodman also at several times tried to focus on what he had done in the past - his accomplishments as a basketball player, etc. James' (and others) had to keep bringing Rodman back to the current situation. This is not easy but it is very important.
   
4. Don't beat around the bush - be direct. Jesse James did not beat around the bush. He came right out and said what needed to be said. He didn't try to sugar coat it or downplay the seriousness of what he was saying. Of course this was tempered with point one (real concern). In other words, speak the truth in love!
   

Did anyone else watch this episode last night? What are your thoughts on this? What have you found to be helpful when confronting someone?