The tour ends here.

Actor Scott Baio (R) and girlfriend Rene Sloan attend the VH1 Back to School Party at the LG Beach House on August 31, 2007 in Malibu, California. (Getty Images)more pics »2008-03-27

I want to say a word or two about BETRAYAL. And also maybe a few words about COMEUPPANCE.

I should also tell you that if you do NOT watch "Rock of Love 2" with the same keen, brutally-appraising eye that I do...1) you probably won't find this nearly as entertaining as -- say -- Jess might, and 2) you are a far better person than I am.

Everyone wins, except if you're eliminated, or you leave the house in a huff. A little bit o' teevee history for you younguns: back in the olden days, t.v. stars were ACTORS (also known as: waiters). Which is to say that they were still OPPORTUNISTS, but generally speaking they also knew a thing or two about the dramatic arts, having perhaps taken a few classes somewhere in New York.

You might recognize the names of some of these aforementioned t.v. stars. Scott Baio. Christopher Knight. Ron Palillo. You recognize them because they are still working on television, thanks to the "reality" genre, where everyone wins, except if you're eliminated, or you leave the house in a huff.

What makes a t.v. star now, in a market saturated with reality programming? Perseverance. Chutzpah. A nice rack. Oh, and maybe one or two reality show "wins" under your belt.

Message boards and blogs were abuzz at the beginning of this season's HIGHLY-ANTICIPATED "Rock of Love 2." Doesn't that Megan skank look...FAMILIAR...somehow?

 Can't quite put my finger on it. I KNOW! She's the SAME Megan skank from "Beauty & the Geek 3"!

 You...you mean that Megan Hauserman wasn't REALLY the skank-with-the-heart-of-gold who saw people for who they REALLY were, and thus won the $250K prize? You mean to say that she's really just a plain old SKANK?

I'll admit -- I watched "Beauty & the Geek 3." Believe me, I am deeply ashamed. I am ashamed that I recognized Megan from having been on another reality show, and further, I am ashamed that I felt, well, BETRAYED. Because on "Rock of Love 2" she was a mean, stupid bimbo who ripped Peyton's mash notes off of Bret's door and stuffed them under the display case.

I wondered how long it would be before someone called Megan out on this. After all, the "Rock of Love" franchise prizes itself on its near-weekly shots of histrionic skanks with mic packs attached to their thongs accusing one another of "not really being there for BRET." Here was a perfect example, and yet we went 9 episodes before someone said something. And that someone, natch, was HEATHER.

 Heather, the skank-with-a-heart-of-gold from Season One, who has REALLY AND TRULY always had Bret's best interests at heart, was brought in to root out the FAKERS like the bleach-blonde truffle hog that she is. With the help of no-way-is-she-only-31 skank Ambre, Megan was eliminated by episode's end.

Sorry, Megan. Your tour ends here. But I hear they're auditioning for "Celebrity Rehab 2."

 

 

 

 

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