KG - The Midwest’s very own Lindsay Lohan/Paris Hilton/Britney Spear wannabe has returned! He’s still a total mess and puts the TARD in celebutard. Apparently KG (pictured in the middle wearing an over-priced, salmon-colored designer hoodie) is back to his old tricks again. After entering rehab numerous times this year, KG continues to get his drink on. This time KG was drinking with his family! He partied Lindsay Lohan-style with family at a cabin up north this past weekend. Apparently KG became so intoxicated after downing 16 “blow job” shots that he peed in his Diesel jeans and called his great aunt Geraldine a ...
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Sharp as a Marble - Part 2 This is Kasey Edwards. He had a small mishap while swimming near lake Okeechobee at 2am the other night. You can see from the picture that he is missing a small item, namely his entire left arm. Here are a few quotes from the Orlando news story that might give you a hint where his arm might be: He decided to swim across a deep canal at about 2 o'clock in the morning. (Ok, this might be reasonable.) Edwards says no drugs were involved, but admits he was drinking earlier. However, it played no role in his decision ...
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As we've noted in previous posts, to the point of smacking our heads repeatedly against the steering wheel in frustration, we unequivocally, in no way whatsoever endorse impaired driving---our Ten Top Greatest Drinking & Driving Anthems of All Time referring solely to the soundtrack of a drunken, Grand Theft Auto game in the confines of one's moldy basement. That being said, we've taken great pleasure here in pointing out the folly of those who do get behind the wheel blotto and while this may not garner any favor with those who fly red ribbons from their antennae, we'd be hypocrites if we claimed otherwise---as ...
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Unfortunately, the online Christmas shopping season has come and gone so you might be forced to defer your philanthropy in the form of some promissory gift note indicating that "the George Foreman grill is on its way, I swear". Sadly, at this late juncture, no warp-speed-porn downloading internet service provider or benevolent FedEx guy is going to save your yuletide bacon and ensure your gift arrives in its intended hands by the 25th. At best, you’re resigned to rummaging through the garage for a suitable gift that hasn't been soiled by raccoons or packing a can of bear repellent for a last ditch trip ...
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We've been known to spritz all over the blogosphere like an aerosol can a nd on occasion, our dedicated readership gets to inhale vapors of a more "culturally uplifting" variety, if you will—different from what they may choke on recreationally or use to tag the side of a bus. The shrewder among you may have noticed our novelty bobble-head nod to simile and metaphor in the opening paragraph, a tribute of sorts, to the theme of this posting: not opening night at the ballpark, but verse. For some, poetry is the ABCB rhyme scheme in a bathroom stall, the gentleman from Nantucket, a wedding ...
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