There are a few things you need to know about Crystal upfront: she outweighs me by a good 150 pounds, she’s clingy enough to be classified as a stalker, and she hasn’t seen any of the Star Wars films. Ever.
She’s not really my...
[more]
There are a few things you need to know about Crystal upfront: she outweighs me by a good 150 pounds, she’s clingy enough to be classified as a stalker, and she hasn’t seen any of the Star Wars films. Ever.
She’s not really my problem. I’ve tormented her to the point where she usually leaves me alone, but she’s still a nuisance by association. My good friend, Jenn, is haunted by this hall-roamer, and being a far nicer person than I, Jenn tolerates her, even when she waits outside Jenn’s room after knocking to no avail, or follows her to class just to tell her she has a crush on her RA and masturbated to him five times the night before. I’ve told Jenn over and over that all she has to do is act like an asshole and voila, problem solved. Sadly, Jenn has a heart that makes Mother Theresa look like a poser, so I took it upon myself to relieve Jenn of her thinking, speaking burden.
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display. While he was there, another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a trainee solicitor monkey please." The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage full of monkeys and took out a monkey. He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be 10,000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very... Read Full Story
Pasco entertainment calendar - St. Petersburg Times Story Tools Before there was Broadway: Centennial Opera Group presents a video lecture by music historian Robert Greenberg on opera buffo , the precursor to Broadway musicals, at 12:30 p.m. today at Centennial Park Library, 5740 Moog Road, Holiday … Read Full Story
Meeting the c o u r t j e s t e r ! - Norwich Evening News Meeting the c o u r t j e s t e r !Norwich Evening News, UK - Jan 28, 2009Working for Her Majesty’s c o u r t s Service cannot be a laugh-a-minute, thankfully Dan McKee is also the funny man behind Norwich’s newest comedy night, … Read Full Story
An upset defendant overturned a table and attacked deputies this
afternoon inside a Peabody courthouse, police said.
It happened during the defendant’s dangerousness hearing.
Court officials were able to subdue Timothy Tate-Burke, but one
of the officers hurt his back.
Police say the suspect got upset after the judge deemed him to
be dangerous.
FOX25’s Sharman Sacchetti will have updates to this story
tonight at 6 p.m.
Read Full Story
Cartoon by =
Daryl
Cagle Comment on the cartoon
We have a =
great
collection of cartoons called "2008 Year In Review" =
LOOK!
Happy New
Year
by Martha Randolph Carr - Comment on the column
New Year's resolutions are all about throwing ourselves into the =
future,
which can ruin the present moment. We are encouraged to draw up a list =
of
everything we don't like about ourselves and resolve to fix them all, =
all at
once.
Some of us spend the entire holiday... Read Full Story
guardian.co.ukUS a c t o r s’ Union Hosts Annual Awards CeremonyVoice of America - 2 hours agoBy VOA News The US a c t o r s’ union Screen a c t o r s Guild held its annual awards show Sunday, despite a labor dispute that has left members without a contract …Contract disputes aside, a c t o r s carry the night at SAG awards USA TodayScreen a c t o r s Guild honors Oscar favorites, others Chicago TribuneA big night for ‘Slumdog’ cast Los Angeles TimesBuddyTV - Washington Postall 3,247 news... Read Full Story
A pregnant woman was walking in the park. A little girl came up and staring at her. The woman smiled at the girl. Te little girl asked: ”What is in there?” She pointed her big tummy. The women smiled: “It is a baby.” The girl was still staring: “Do you like children?” “Of course I do.” The women answered. “So why did you eat that baby?” The answer for the Ten Trees puzzle: Read Full Story
New York Daily NewsOn the r a d i o : With ‘Circus,’ Britney Spears quits the side showNew York Daily News, NY - 9 hours agoBy DAVID HINCKLEY It’s how her new “Circus” CD pulled her out of a personal and professional train wreck and made her matter to a whole new r a d i o audience. …Britney Spears’ New Song Title Too Nasty For r a d i o FOXNewsBritney Spears’ Too Nasty For r a d i o TopNews United StatesBritney’s newest single stirs up r a d i o controversy Detroit Free... Read Full Story
MLive.comNHRA remains fast, furious but safer at reduced distanceUSA Today - 44 minutes agoImplemented for safety reasons after the on-track death of f u n n y Car driver Scott Kalitta in June in Englishtown, NJ, the rule change yielded side benefits …Pomona: Jeff Arend preview Motorsport.comBeckman embarks on third full f u n n y Car season in Pomona Autochannel (press release)NHRA: New Teams, New Drivers, New Sponsor, 2009 Full Throttle … PaddockTalkUSA Today - USA Todayall 59 news... Read Full Story
