ROCK OF LOVE - Heather’s current mood is “sad”

VH1 brought us some of the most ridonculous reality TV moments of the season courtesy of Rock of Love - Poison frontman Bret Michaels’ search for true love in the form of a reality TV tartlet. To his credit, he appeared to choose the least repulsive of all the strumpets…er, contestants…er, women? Well. You know. To his detriment, he allowed the highly entertaining Heather, NOT the “winner,” to tattoo his name on the back of her neck during the taping of one episode. It’s difficult to say which of the two deserves to be slapped upside the head with a herring harder for that particularly misguided moment.

So during last night’s finale Heather was shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, not to be selected by the producers Bret to win the coveted “Rock of Bret’s Schlong” title. Clearly not one to quit while she’s way behind, Heather had this to say on her MySpace page today, which I swear we did not edit:

HELLO ALL,
FIRST I WANTED TO THANK EVERYONE FOR ALL THE SUPPORT THROUGH OUT THE SEASON OF ROCK OF LOVE. PLEASE BE AWARE THAT EDITING PLAYS A HUGE PART IN TELEVISION, THAT’S WHAT MAKES PEOPLE INTERESTED IN WATCHING. I HAVE CRIED MANY NIGHTS OVER HOW SOME EPISODE PROTRAY ME. I AM SO HEARTBROKEN AND APPALLED THAT I LOOK SO INSENSITIVE IN THE FINALE. I LOVED BRET VERY MUCH AND HE WILL HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART FOREVER. IT JUST BREAKS MY HEART THAT THE EDITING MAKES ME LOOK SO INSENSITVE.ON OUR DATE IN CABO WHEN HE SAID HE WASNT FEELING WELL WE STOPPED AND I WENT AND GOT HIM SOME WATER..IT WAS HIM WHO WANTED TO KEEP RIDING TO GET ALL DIFFERENT CAMERA ANGLES. I WAS
FULL OF SAND AND WOULD HAVE LOVED TO JUST CHILL ON THE BEACH IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS THE MOST REAL, DID EVERYTHING I COULD FOR HIM—U GUYS DID NOT SEE WHEN I WOULD MAKE HIM BREAKFAST IN BED OR WHEN I BOUGHT HIM BALLONS AND ROSES ON HIS BDAY.. I WENT SHOPPING FOR HIM AND HIS KIDS IN CABO AND ACTUALLY SPENT OVER 1000 THROUGHOUT THAT MONTH., BECAUSE I LOVE TO GIVE AND ESPECIALLY TO PEOPLE I CARE ABOUT.
NO, I WASNT THE SKINNIEST ONE OR THE PRETTIEST ONE, BUT I WAS HONEST AND GAVE HIM MY HEART. BRET SEES BEAUTIFUL WOMEN EVERYDAY OF HIS LIFE—REMEMBER TAMARA–BUT, ITS CHEMISTRY AND AN AMAZING BOND THAT IS HARD TO FIND…. WE BOTH FOUND IT AND ITS A SHAME ALL OF AMERICA HAS TO THINK THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST—I ABSOLUTELY, 100% DID NOT SAY I WOULD SHARE HIM.WE BOTH SAID NO..THAT WAS EDITED AND I AM SOOOO APPALLED BY THAT–AS IF THE STIPPER THING WASNT ENOUGH, (WHICH I QUIT DOING MONTHS AGO)–OR PRETTY MUCH NEVER SHOWING ONE BAD THING ABOUT JESS, I GOT RAN THROUGH THE COALS AND HEARTBROKEN ONCE AGAIN.
I JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW THE TRUTH.
I DO HAVE A COUPLE THINGS IN THE WORKS, SO U WILL BE SEEING ME AGAIN IN THE NEAR FUTURE
SINCERELY,
HEATHER

Well, Heather, just look at it this way. You may have a silly little tattoo to remind you of being dumped on national TV forever, but Jes has to date Bret “the most credulous man we’ve ever seen” Michaels. We’re pretty sure you came out on, um, top. And I for one am thrilled to no end to learn that we will be seeing even more of you in the near future. Presumably for free.