Ben Stiller Roasted The Heck Out Of Michael Cohen's Testimony On 'SNL'
"For too many years, I was loyal to a man when I should not have been. Now I know what Khloe Kardashian feels."
Michael Cohen — Donald Trump's former lawyer, personal counsel, and so-called "fixer" — dominated headlines this week (perhaps even more than the Khloe Kardashian and Jordyn Woods mess) thanks to his explosive testimony before the House Committee on Oversight and Reform. He painted his ex-boss as a racist, con-man, and a cheat. Cohen offered insight on what's happening within the Trump administration, revealing the president had knowledge of Roger Stone's correspondence with WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, directed him to lie about paying hush money to Stormy Daniels (and paid it when he was already sworn into the presidency), inflated his wealth, was directly involved with the Trump Tower Moscow dealings, and that he had no intention of leading the United States and only ran to "market himself and to build his wealth and power."
It didn't take long for Saturday Night Live to make a parody out of the situation, and in this week's episode, comedian Ben Stiller reprised his role as Michael Cohen to poke fun at the testimony. Bill Hader took on the role of enraged Republican congressman Jim Jordan. Suffice to say, it was glorious.
"Now, for any other president, this hearing would be the most damning and humiliating of their lives. But for Trump, it’s just Wednesday," Kenan Thompson’s Elijah Cummings opened the hearing.
"I’m here today to tell you that Mr. Trump is a racist," Stiller's Cohen proclaimed in his opening statement, offering a dramatic pause for shocked reactions. Instead, it was met with complete silence. "Wow, I thought that would be a bigger reaction. But he’s also a con man and a cheat." He continued his statement by saying he now realizes everything he's done was wrong, and it's all because he got caught. "For too many years, I was loyal to a man when I should not have been. Now I know what Khloe Kardashian feels," he said.
"But now, I’m all out of faith," he went on, proceeding with a recitation of Natalie Imbruglia’s hit song "Torn."
"This is how I feel," he said. "I’m cold and I’m ashamed, lying naked on the floor. Illusion never changed into something real. I’m wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn, thank you."
After Cohen's remarks, Thompson's Cummings opened the floor to make way for Republicans to "get angry at everybody except the President." He gave the spotlight to Hader's perennially irate Jordan, who is "so angry I couldn't even wear a jacket today!" Jordan questioned Cohen on "what other criminals and lowlifes" he's previously worked for, to which Trump's ex-lawyer responded, "I was the deputy finance chairman for the Republican Party, sir."
As for Cohen's final words?
"Maybe I'm not a good person. Maybe I'm a liar. Maybe I'm a fool. Maybe I've ruined hundreds of people's lives," he concluded.
"I'm sorry, is there a 'but' coming?" Thompson's Cummings asked.
"No, there isn’t, thank you," he replied. "And live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!"
You can watch the full cold open sketch below:
What did you think of Ben Stiller's portrayal of Michael Cohen? Did you find it funny? Let us know in the comments!