HR accused me of stealing from the company today. I think Triplet, the VP of HR , now believes she is Kyra Sedgwick, star of " The Closer ". Triplet sent me a message this morning informing me that very serious accusations have been brought against me and that we would need to meet and discuss at 5:00 p.m. today. This is how she thinks she'll make me sweat. I responded by saying: I can't make it at that time. But I'm free at 4:00. I'm sure this infuriated her. She did not want to lose her strength of position by letting me set ...
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A few of my peers are becoming concerned with my workload. Not from the perspective that I'm not delivering, but moreso based on my ability, or lack thereof, to focus on any one thing considering all the shit I have to deal with on a daily. On a normal day, I've got nothing but back-to-back meetings, on-site, or on conference calls, multi-million dollar projects that involve the French who take the entire month of August off, which, by the way, have now made my overall project status "yellow." Add to that... dealings with a user-pool who has nothing better to do than bitch and ...
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Blair is spying on me more than usual which means she thinks she knows something that I don't know she thinks she knows. However, whatever she thinks she knows is only hearsay, otherwise she would confront me about it immediately. She is currently in the validation stage which, believe me, is much better than the confirmation stage. Whenever Blair gets to this stage, it's time to create a diversion. Which is why my boss Smithee has been flirting with her through email all day. Blair was pissed off at Smithee for a long time because he stood her up for Sushi and drinks . ...
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After I crammed down a juicy burger at the Division picnic yesterday, I lined up to race on the Velcro Obstacle Course. It's like a blow up bouncy house, but with tunnels and things to climb over. Two people race at once to make it a quick, competitive challenge. You put on a Velcro suit and crawl through the Velcro course, getting stuck to walls, etc. as you go. There were two lines. I counted back to figure out who I was lined up with to race. This might have been a coincidence, but have a feeling it wasn't. Looks like I would be ...
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What better way to send jokes to your friends then through text messages. Everyone and their grandma (yes even her!) have a cell phone. Soon we’ll be seeing three year olds learning how to text their name before they pick up a pen or pencil. You even have people sending thousands of texts a month to beat out world records because they have nothing better to do - like maybe work! So why not make people really scared to text by sending over some hysterical and maybe even practical text jokes ? These range from simple to hysterical and will have everyone ROFL! Below ...
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