The isle of kevin

We all live on our own little island.
Mine is called kevin, and well behaved immigrants are always welcome.
The isle of kevin is just off the south coast of England, and I just happen to be in charge.
To qualify for residency, you just have to be a regular visitor, tell me how wonderful I am, and make all the other residents laugh.
It's easy - no airport queues, no lost luggage. Please join me in creating an international community of good humour...
It's the only way to travel!

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it's a small world

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kingkevin on

From: eagle-eye.blog.co.uk

take a look at this picture first ... double click to see it full size... can you just about make out that tiny dot at the bottom? that's where we live. how puny earth is, compared to the sun. now take a look at this picture ... double click to see it full size the sun is just about invisible at bottom left - a tiny dot compared to the massive stars of antares and betelgeuse. they in turn are just tiny dots when we gaze up at the night sky. antares is the 15th brightest star in our night sky. and it is ... Read Full Story

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overnight guests

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kingkevin on

From: eagle-eye.blog.co.uk

i've got visitors tonight. these two ... yes, cherie and tonie. they were a bit late because cherie had just reached the finals of the isle of britain gurning competition. she was pipped at the post by a woman who could pull her bottom lip right over her face, and still sing jerusalem while drinking a glass of water. tonie was beaten in the most virile ex prime minister contest by john major. so they were in a fine mood, as you can imagine. though as my little snapshot shows - at least tonie managed to smile while not looking at the camera. though ... Read Full Story

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brown ails

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kingkevin on

From: eagle-eye.blog.co.uk

he doesn't look well, does he? wonder why that is ... perhaps he was just being introduced to boris johnson? or tony blair had just rung to say he'd put a fiver on the tories winning the next general election? anyway, all is not lost - i've offered to be his personal advisor for the next few months, so he can regain public confidence. his new policies will be - tax the rich to subsidise the poor. er... that's it, really. he might not win the election, but at least he could bow out with some dignity. chance'd be a fine thing. Read Full Story

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petrol

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kingkevin on

From: eagle-eye.blog.co.uk

there were queues at the petrol station this morning. it was crazy. people were arriving driving tractors, ride-on lawn mowers, and occasionally the family saloon. three people collapsed under the weight of the cans and containers they were filling up. but doris was a star - she walked four miles carrying a skip on her head, filled it up with a couple of million litres, and walked back without breaking sweat, and without spilling a drop. i incurred her wrath by telling her she forgot the box of matches i wanted, but still... she did very well and i gave her a big eclair ... Read Full Story

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and so to bed

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kingkevin on

From: eagle-eye.blog.co.uk

the latest mick jagger and the pacemakers album was playing on the turntable - i think the last track i remember was called 'sanatogen sennapod blues' or something. anyway, it was quite stirring, whatever it was. enough to make me get out of my suede hammock - difficult when you're wearing velcro boxer shorts - and retire to my royal chambers (as you do after a few silver tankards of best bitter). i'd just slipped between the sheets (and if i find out who put that banana skin there, they're in big trouble) when i heard knockers being rattled. yes - doris wanted to ... Read Full Story

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The book of the Isle of Kevin