SUMMER TIME, SUPER COOL PRODUCT REVIEW!

YES, YES, YES, Hell NO, NO, NO, YES, HELL YES

So I was perusing my favorite BLOG, http://www.barstoolsports.com/, when I came across a product that they were advertising: POOL FUCKING PONG...BRILLIANT! I hate when people discover shit like that...Clearly, if I had any remaining brains cells, I could have invented that shit. I mean, I love playing Beer Pong more than anything in this world. The light should have gone on years ago. BRAIN: "Hey Brit, u like pong, why don't you figure out a way where you can play it all the time...LIKE IN A FUCKING POOL?!" I would be a billionaire by now...FECK! Anyway, my hat is off to the inventors. You people are smart.

Summer time product review!

Ability to play in a pool: A+
Ability to play in a ocean: F-
Involvement of alcohol: A+
Ability to get hot chicks to play in bikini, then slowly remove bikini due to intoxication : A+



SHE WOULD BE MY PARTNER

Now on to a more detailed look...

PLUSES and MINUSES

+ I would so dominate this game… With my 6'6 (Michael Jordan height/no big deal) statuesque frame, I would slowly, inch by inch, pull the pong-raft into the deep end. And you short heeerting would slowly drown as I ICE cups in your face! HUGE PLUS!

- The constant bitching. "DUDE, that fatty over there cannon balled into the pool, the fucking raft was bouncing up and down...I should get to shoot again...BULLLSHIT."

+ Gives you a reason to tell douchebag teenage lifeguards to fuck off, when they tell you NO DRINKING IN THE POOL.

- Excessive peeing. Clearly you would have to pee every 5 minutes with the excessive drinking and with the soaking in water and all….

+ You are in a pool. Just go ahead and pee. That is what the chlorine is for.

- Splashing. Obvi, once I start dominating, you will get angry and splash in my beer. FUCKERS.

+ NO NEED FOR WATER CUP!


AND there you have it. Pretty much the greatest invention of the 21st century. I give it an.......


A+

Now all I need is a pool and $50 and I will be set…

Please buy this and invite me over to play.

https://www.poolsidepong.com/