Things That I Wish Tyler Perry Would “Present”

Tyler Perry presents “I Can Do Bad all by Myself”, Tyler Perry presents “Madea Goes to Jail”, Tyler Perry presents — so many things these days it’s often hard to distinguish between products that are and are not Tyler Perry related. In fact, there are so many Tyler Perry “presented” products that by 2011 it is expected that one in seven people reading this post will have been “presented” by Tyler Perry at some point in their life. Usually while they were dressed like a muscular, excessively tall older black woman with a chip on her shoulder.

There are still a few things out there, however, that Tyler Perry hasn’t presented, so I thought I’d make a list of the things that I wish that Tyler Perry would present. Please feel free, in your comments, to leave your suggestions for what you would want Tyler Perry to present, and maybe with our powers combined, we can get him to present them.

1. Tyler Perry Presents: “Doubt”

If only because I think Tyler Perry, in drag, would make an excellent Sister Aloysius Beauvier. Madea would be a way radder person than Meryl Streep to sternly yell, “I have my certainty.”

2. Tyler Perry Presents: Madea Goes To Ernest Saving Halloween.

It’s only a matter of time before these two opinionated cultural icons butt heads in a hilarious attempt to stop garbage goblins from stealing Halloween.

3. Tyler Perry Presents: Afghanistan

Sure, Madea is tough and no nonsense, but she is also fair and even handed and I think she would do a pretty good job stabilizing that war torn region.

4. Tyler Perry Presents: Wild Alaskan Salmon

Tyler Perry’s sharp eye for dialogue, and his keen sense of how a black family would act if Madea interrupted their backyard barbecue could easily be shifted into overseeing the catching and packaging of fresh water Pacific Salmon in an environmentally responsible manner.

5. Tyler Perry Presents: Roe Vs. Wade

Tyler Perry’s money and power could go a long way to strengthening the position of the pro-choice lobby in congress, also he knows Alfre Woodard and she adds her own strengths to any cause she backs. Those strengths being an impressive, deep-seated dignity, and the ability to bite through steel.