Screw the Vote

The past two presidential elections I cast my vote for the Libertarian Party candidate.

This served me well. I could not only leave the polls with a clear conscience, but I knew no matter what happened, I could say “I told you so”, and I could honestly deny any complicity in the selection, no matter which dope was eventually elected, or chosen by the United States Supreme Court.

 Since the Libertarian Party has sold out, and nominated Bob Barr, an Assbag Most Supreme, I will not have that luxury this November.

 So I have decided the ethical thing to do on election day is go shopping or rock climbing up at Sedona, or otherwise stay as far away from the polling place as possible. Of course, I will keenly watch the results, I just don't want to participate in the process.

It's not that I'm apathetic. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have just come to the conclusion I have a duty not to vote, especially when it comes to the presidential election.

I know this sounds heretical—it is almost the same as advocating that crack be handed out at morning snack time in elementary schools:




Well, if not voting will get me a spankee from Madonna, that alone is more than enough reason not to bother....



But there are some other good reasons.

Of course there is the practical aspect. While there is a possibility that my vote might decide the presidential election, that possibility is so minuscule it is virtually impossible to calculate. It is much less than the possibility of winning a Powerball jackpot. So I don't think that is a real pantie twister.

Everyone always says if you don't vote, then you have no right to complain.

 That doesn't make any sense to me. I have taken a close discerning look at all the candidates, and none really appeals to me. So how does deciding not to make a choice between Dumb and Stupid, somehow obliterate my right to point out that Dumb is now even Dumber, or Stupid remains stuck on stupid?

But I am then admonished with a proposition that is so hypothetical it is a theoretical impossibility:

What if everyone decided to be as apathetic as you?

 Besides being an example of over-the-top school marmish logic, actually, from my perspective, this would be a good thing—neither Dumb nor Stupid would be selected as my leader.

However, I am then told that I have a civic obligation to vote, because it is this right which separates a democracy from a tyranny.

That is simply not true.

 Dictatorships and other tyrannies, such as the old Soviet Union or Saddam Hussein's Iraq, not only encourage their citizens to vote, they insist upon it. Tyrannies almost always make voting compulsory, with some very serious consequences if you do not.

 Just this week in Zimbabwe all the citizens were told to cast their ballots, and get their fingers stained with red ink at the polls. President Mugabe's armed forces then went through the countryside checking to see if the citizens had performed their civic duty. If there was no stain on their finger—they were either severely beaten or executed.

 And that really gets to the crux of what voting is all about. When I cast my vote, I am confirming that I approve of the system by which these yo yos are selected—I give them legitimacy.

That is why President Mugabe wanted everyone to vote, even if they were brave souls and did not vote for him—it gives him a claim to be the legitimate chosen leader of his country.

Like most Americans nowadays, I am basically an independent. I certainly have no loyalty to the Republican or Democratic Parties. They are just private organizations, and were not, despite what some people think, established by the constitution. And like most people, I actually find them to be rather offensive organizations.

They each have their own rules on how candidates are selected. In many cases these rules don't make a lot of sense, and often they are quite unfair—and undemocratic.

 The Libertarian Party is no better, perhaps even worse. The only reason Bob Barr was selected is a small band of the party leadership became smitten with the idea of having a D List politician as the nominee, who could possibly make a little splash by getting three or four percent of the popular vote, and maybe even be John McCain's Naderesque spoiler. Unlike the case with the Democratic and Republican candidates, Bob Barr did not even participate in the silly primary system.

It is no different than the Communist Party presenting the electorate with a slate of candidates, or the Baath Party doing the same in Saddam Hussein's Iraq.

I don't approve of the Democrats or Republicans (or the Libertarian Party for that matter) selecting my leaders, and I think it is hypocritical if I give the system my seal of approval, by voting for one these clowns, especially if I find all of them distasteful.

But it can get even worse. When I voted for the Libertarian candidate in the 2000 election, by participating in the process, I implicitly gave my approval to the manner in which George Bush was selected president.

 The whole hanging chad circus, and the Supreme Court's unconstitutional interference in Florida's election process, was really offensive.

I feel bad that I helped legitimize that election, and would feel bad even if George Bush had not turned out to be an unmitigated disaster.

In a moral and ethical sense, I am partially responsible for the unfair election of that dufus, and all the ruin he has done.

 So call me an un-American bimbo when I don't participate in the presidential election.

But this bimbo will sleep well election night—knowing I have clean hands and have not compromised my conscience in any way.