Deer and Politics

So, it’s been a hectic week. I hit a deer, an eight-point-buck, turned fifty, and survived the Stock Market free fall. None of these happenings were very much fun. Just for the record. And people around me continue to baffle, stymie, me, like most of the human population.

Seriously.

The first question I was asked, by just about everyone who heard I hit a deer, was – is the deer ok? No, as a matter of fact, he’s not. He ran in front of a car – a big (albeit it fuel efficient) car that was moving at 40mph. He died. Darwinism. He will not reproduce and carry that gene forward. I mean, squirrels know to avoid multi-ton-things-traveling-at-high-speeds. The deer is not ok. My car is not so ok. It has $3000 of damage. One headlight assembly is going to cost me $392. Well, $391 and some change. That doesn’t include the upper bumper, the lower bumper, or the headlight mount. And I was traveling 15 mph under the speed limit.

And no, I did not get the deer and bring him home for dinner. This is the second most frequent question asked. Like my 50 yr old body (ok, so I was 49yrs and 361 days—close enough) – that had just been jerked around in a collision – is going to walk across the dark (star-less, moon-less, streetlight-less) road, down the embankment, into the woods, and pick up an eight-point-buck, throw it over my shoulder, carry it back across the road – and throw it atop my very tall vehicle. I would then, of course, have to pull out something from my bag – which generally holds books, you know like literature and grammar books, and tie the sucker down to carry it home. Yeah.

But people asked.

And the stock market. Hello? This is what happens to your money when you elect a man who bankrupted several companies to run your government. The only surprise, for me, was that it has taken this long. Eight years ago, we had a strong economy. Eight years ago, we had a balanced budget. Eight years ago, there was a democrat in the White House. Ok, so he had sex with someone besides his wife and got caught. Somehow, that looks somewhat petty now; well it’s always looked petty to me, but anyway. The thing about a democratic society is you get the elected officials you deserve. We cannot blame the government we elected – because we the people gave them that power. I live in the conservative south – where people still like George Bush, where people think Sarah Palin is a gifted, sainted, woman. And John McCain is a card-carrying-member of the NRA who is pro-life, so God bless him, let’s make him president – they don’t get that he isn’t pro THEIR way of life. Besides, he’s white, so by-God he should be president. VOTE FOR CHANGE!

I have never been a proponent of the Electoral College. Ever. But, at fifty, I am beginning to see what the founding fathers were thinking…many people have similarities to deer and should not be allowed to guide their own destinies—they run headlong into clearly visible disaster without thinking. Whilst I still believe that we should ALL exercise our right to vote, I worry that the shallow end of the intelligence-gene pool is actually being herded to the polls.

Ok, I am going to go hide my car insurance check under my mattress now. You go register to vote.