Lost Without Love

It seems as if I can always tell when I really and truly, without a shadow of a doubt, unequivocally fall in love. Love, for me, just doesn’t miraculously appear overnight. It doesn’t come to me on a whim. It takes a while. Kind of like when I first started taking Prozac. At the onset, I really didn’t know if anything was happening or not. Then one day, all of a sudden like, it just hit me and I knew! The depth of feeling hit me like a ton of bricks falling from a scaffolding. My once “like” for the woman of my desire suddenly turned into steadfast “love”. My casual interest evolved into strong affection and uncon-trollable desire. I “felt” it. My body temperature, pulse and heart rate rose causing an immediate change in the way I felt and thought about her. I suddenly had an intense desire and need to be with that person forever! I wanted her. I needed her. I loved her and I was “in love”.

Oh the feeling of elicit tenderness that comes crashing into me like an ocean wave when the driving emotion of love finally hits! The object of my desire, the woman of my dreams, I’d do anything to be with her. For she to love me and me to love her. The extreme amorous passion I feel for her is off the proverbial chain! The romantic attachment I feel for her is indescribable. I know love as I have loved many, many times before. Such a feeling of warmth and happiness the emotion called love. What a pleasure it is to love and be loved. The kindness, beauty, harmony and grace that comes with love is a magnificent, wonderful, splendid feeling! I take pleasure in loving a woman. And I’d walk through Hell wearing a pair of gasoline soaked drawers just to be with her or to hear her whisper my name. I long for the day when I can once again love and be loved. For to be lost without love, is a horrible, horrible feeling.

Man how I miss the unbridled wanton need for love and affection! I miss that hot feeling that rises all the way up from the bottom of my feet to the top of my head when I experience that uncanny sexual desire for the woman I love. My darling, my sweetheart, my girlfriend … the ardor and erotic feelings I harbor for thee is immeasurable! The one I love, she is elegant in every way! To love her is a privilege, an honor, and the greatest feeling in the universe! To hug, kiss and hold hands with her is an invaluable pleasure! The sexual desire, the way my heart beats totally out of control, the lump I get in my throat when she simply comes walking my way. It drives me! She drives me! She makes me feel strong, manly, invincible in every way! I’d fight an army to protect her. screaming at the top of my lungs, telling all the world to hear, “I love her!” As I fought, maimed and killed in the name of love!

Oh the shortness of breath that overcomes me at the sight of her sparkling eyes and beautiful smile. The feeling that hits me suddenly changing my entire breathing pattern when I detect the smell of her sweet perfume. No other woman appeals to me. No other catches my eye. No other warrants a single minute of my attention. When I’m in love with her, she’s the one and only one. I know her smell, the softness of her lips, the intensity of her aura. Every sensual curve of her body and the beautiful tone of her voice excites me. The way she brushes her hair, the cute way she crinkles her nose, the unique way she laughs. All let me know I love her and I am in love. Each and every time she walks into the room, brushes against me or takes a single breath, my heart screams out in desire to be with her. God what a breathtakingly beautiful woman she is! And God how wonderful it feels to be in love.

To love a woman is to make life seem worthwhile. Oh how I need to hold a woman close, to look at her pretty face, to feel the softness of her hair. Oh how I miss being hypnotized by her baby blue eyes. And oh how I need to let her know she is the only one for me and that I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I miss being able to tell her how much I really care and show her the way I feel. To feel alive again, to smile, to let her know to be with me is where she should always be! To tell her I never knew how complete love could be until I met her. I need her touch, the togetherness and to tell her how I never again want to be alone! Eight years away from her and seven left to go has really taken it’s toll. But you know what? I haven’t forgotten what it’s like to love. And when the opportunity finally arises once again, I’ll be there in hot pursuit of the woman of my dreams. She’s out there! I know she is! I daydream of her every day and dream of her every night. She’s out there everyone And one day soon …

I’ll no more be “Lost Without Love”!

I am Tripper!

Better Days!