Interracial Couples -- Still a Stigma Attached?

As a white woman whose partner is a black man, I wanted to touch briefly on this subject. I can say that our relationship is well accepted in my family and his, and in the small city where we live. There was a time, not so long ago, that dating between the races was seen as improper. Marriage between black and whites was against the law. Dating was looked down upon by many. And interracial couples themselves feared how society would treat any children that came of their relationship.


These relationships were criticized with threats, badgering from families (both black and white), and some people were killed because of it. Is there still a stigma attached for interracial couples? Yes, and no. It depends partly on the community, family beliefs, religious beliefs of where such couples as us live. Things are far better than they were, but prejudice against interracial friendships, dating, and marriage DO still exist in far larger numbers than are warranted. It is not too far removed from how the poor, the morbidly obese, the gay, the mentally ill, the uneducated, and various religious factions are treated: with disdain, as less worthy, as somehow inferior.



When in public, we get some long glaring looks, but not often. Some families would still rather see a member dead, (yes, dead), than dating outside their race or religion. But for most of us involved in interracial relationships, love wins. We have learned to ignore the glares, ignore family opinion when it is negative, and live without much notice as to what society thinks. Here, acceptance of mixed couples is wider than the rejection of such.



I feel race, religionn, politics, should play no role. Decency, integrity, and respect matter far more than color ever should. Racism and bias will most likely always exist in some form and in some sectors, as history shows. There is the hope of changes for the better, though, when interviewing younger people. They don't harbor rascism the way past generations have done. I also see as a ray of hope that yes, America has elected Barack Obama by a comfortably large margin as president.



The most important thing is that you and your partner are okay with your relationship. If either of you have any doubts, do not hide them. Discuss them! Make sure your feelings are strong enough, that each of you is confidant enough, to weather any negative reaction. If not, best to part. If so, hold your heads high, laugh often, love one another, and move forward...together.



Karen Chaffee 2009