| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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Everyone agreed that such a remarkable hair should be put to good use. Uncle Eddie suggested Edna use it to abseil down to inaccessible cliff ledges and rescue stranded puppies. Read Full Story
| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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And they're so dirty. Every time they land you think: "Where's that bastard now? I wonder if he's busy spewing digestive juices all over my lunch". Read Full Story
| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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It was an instinctive; I wasn't really in control. I didn't even realise I'd opened my lunch box, reached inside and taken out the pork pie. So it was as much a surprise to me as anyone else when I threw it, hard, at his big, stupid, slurping face. Read Full Story
| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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Such was his dedication that Bernard even maintained a list of his favourite lighthouse regulations, which he reviewed weekly (on Monday evenings at half-past-eight). The list seldom changed and the top item was always the same: Fire Drill. Read Full Story
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Grandmother swore by having nine but would have none until a quarter to midnight and then stuff them all in one go. Uncle Teddy has his whilst hiding in the bushes and spying through his neighbour's bedroom window. The dirty bugger. Mother said you get used to not having any when you live on a submarine, but when you reach dry land you can't get enough. Read Full Story
| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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The best way to fit in when visiting the middle ages is to grow a beard, pick up a skin disease and look puzzled at the effects of gravity. Read Full Story
| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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One day he'll come for you; the grinning face of death. There's no escaping it. Don't even bother trying. Growing a moustache or hiding behind a large vase will not work. You could try gambling for your life with a violin playing contest or a game of chess, but I warn you, he's pretty good at both. Whatever you do, don't get him confused with Father Christmas; that really pisses him off and he will not bring you any of the presents on your list. Read Full Story
| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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Unlike walking naked for eleven miles in sub-zero temperatures, taking my test is QUICK and EASY and will not expose you to significant risk of PNEUMONIA or FROSTBITE. Read Full Story
| From : ashmash.blog-city.com
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My Olympics will have mass-appeal and will not make you feel inferior for being unfit, unhealthy, old, fat, lazy and/or diseased. Read Full Story
