Gosh! November 22nd? Has it been that long?Honestly. I was taking a little time off. A break to reinvigorate the fertile writing juices flowing through the Vas deferens tubes of my creative humor. Plus I'd been spending some time working closely with the Obama Administration on the Stimulus package until it came to my attention that they didn't really need another humorist.So. Yesterday I was doing some important research on inflation over at the Betty's Big'uns web page when I received a ... Read Full Story

Just got a new cow in today. Last night actually. This one, unlike our Dexters (An old Irish breed, small and dual purpose: milk and meat.) is a Jersey who's sole existence in life as far human relations go, is to provide milk.Lots and lots of milk.Gallons of the stuff.Daily.She looks like a bone frame covered in skin attacked to a giant bag of milk.The problem of course is they forgot to install an efficient faucet on that bag. I suspect it's an English design thing. There are four nozzles o... Read Full Story

I am pleased to announce that the Don Lewis for President Campaign is reaching new levels of excitement! As you can see from the map below, we obviously have grown exponentially in committed supporters. (Many of our supporters are not committed yet, but the Court Orders are pending.)And there is more good news. In a recent nation-wide survey, there are powerful indications of broad name recognition. Over ninety percent of respondents recognized the name Don. And nearly half as many knew someo... Read Full Story

Good day my fellow Americans. (And long-term visitors from sunny climes.)Having resumed my campaign, I want to take this opportunity to address the nation about our current financial troubles. As you are aware, Congress, initially bravely holding out against the insanity of massive deficit spending to the tune of 700 billion dollars finally agreed to a compromise proposal that only added an additional 150 billion dollars of vital economic stimulus expenditures like the Barney Frank Peace and ... Read Full Story

Well Gang, I'm off to Oregon for a few days. Back on Wednesday. Don't wait up. I'm suspending my Campaign until then. I figure this is a good plan. Look what it did for McCain.Cheers,Don Read Full Story

Obviously it's time for me, as the Candidate of Last Resort and as a noted financial and economic expert, to speak to you, the Nation, about this whole credit and bank thingy.Everyone is pointing fingers, trying desperately to pass the buck. The Democrats say it's Bushs' fault. The Republicans are blaming it on the Democrats. McCain seems to suspect the North Vietnamese and Obama is looking suspiciously at bitter clingers like Palin. And everyone hates Wall Street: even Wall Street.But ask y... Read Full Story

Just got back from my Renaissance Faire. Actually, it's not mine. It belongs to someone else. I just run it while it's on the ground.Hmmm? A Renaissance Faire? Well. It's a bit like a craft fair. And a Grateful Dead concert. And a fairy ring. Or the path to heaven or the road to hell. Or the one in between. Or nothing like any of those. I've been intimately associated with this particular Ren Faire, the Shrewsbury Renaissance Faire in Oregon for the past 15 years. It occurs on the second week... Read Full Story

Well I've nearly got the dust out of my lungs and the swelling of my eyes is finally decreasing.As previously mentioned, I just finished up my annual stint at the Shrewsbury Renaissance Faire in Kings Valley, Oregon.While I was away I was fortunate enough to have my blog kept alive by three of the funniest bloggers I know.Before I start my own writing up again, I want to take the time to thank:Chris Cameron of Angry Seafood for providing my multinational corporation, DONCO Inc. with a new ser... Read Full Story

IDAHO IN DA HOUSE Predator Press [LOBO] Previous attempts to infiltrate DONCO Headquarters have all been thwarted. "Who are you sir," said the DONCO security guard.  "And where do you think you're going with those cinderblocks and pointy sticks?  You'll deflate the empire!" "You don't need to see my identification," I says, coolly waving my hand. "I don't need to see your identification?" "These aren't the droids you're looking for." "Sir," says the guard.  "... Read Full Story

Temporal Security As a concerned citizen of the world, you are no doubt aware of the many threats posed by the advent of time travel.* Thanks to the diligent efforts of Hollywood, even the most scientifically illiterate individuals are well versed in the some of the top dangers set to emanate from the future: angry cyborgs, alien ninjas, and lazy college students looking for a little less history to study.** Every survivalist worth his or her sodium content is now ready for such potential ... Read Full Story