The list

Disclaimer: this post was written on a whim, several weeks ago, and never published because it felt a little too cheeky and borderline obnoxious. However, considering that I am currently wallowing in a pathetic lack of energy and inspiration, this post now now being published because, well, what the hell.

I wish I was skinnier. Or rather slimmer, since I am not skinny at all.

Don’t you? Really, being honest here, between us gals. If not skinnier, then surely something else. Everyone has that “I wish I was…” list. What’s on yours? Richer? Braver? More stylish?

Motivational speakers are fond of saying things like “you can become all you wish to be” or “You can have all you desire”. I don’t think you can, not really. I’m not trying to be a party pooper here and I’m not generally a “glass half-empty” person.

I just feel that we should focus our energy constructively, and that means setting reachable goals one can work towards (oh boy, sounding all self-help-ish there) without stopping half-way and feeling like a loser because the goals still seems to far out of reach, or dare I say it, IMPOSSIBLE. (I know I said I wasn’t a glass half-empty person, stick with me.)

For instance, I wish that I was naturally thin, but that’s not a reachable or realistic goal.
I have no doubt I will eventually win my battle with the scale, if I work hard at it. However I’m not naturally thin, and it will never be a completely effortless thing for me. And that’s ok. Or not. Alright, it’s kind of a downer, but come on. If we dwell on everything we don’t have… well, that seems like a waste of time. Surely we can find something better to do, like reading, shopping, spending time with friends, or anything else that is sure to leave you happier or at least more relaxed and more content than thinking “this really sucks” for hours, like a stuck record (and this is where I prove just how old I am by mentioning records.)

Some things on your list can be learned. Or you can give it a shot, at least. For instance, most people can learn to be more stylish. Keep up with fashion, learn what looks good for your body shape, what you can and cannot pull off based on your height, shape, coloring, personal style. For instance, I cannot wear cowboy boots. Even if I wanted to. Even when they are fashionable, you know, vaguely cowboy-ish boots, worn with the boho chic look that Sienna Miller pulls off so effortlessly. They are just not me.

Now, you’ll notice I said “most people”. That’s because there are some people who unfortunately, no matter how much they practice, will always need a stylist. Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas comes to mind. No matter that she designs shoes know (these days everyone seems to think you can just say “I’m a designer now” and poof! you actually become one), every now and then the girl will step out in some horrific ensemble and you just know that’s one she picked herself, maybe when her stylist wasn’t looking.

Buy hey, she is gorgeous and has a nice voice – can’t have everything, right? Besides, it’s not like she cannot afford a stylist

Anyway, my point is: we don’t need to give up our dreams, but we do need to focus on stuff we can actually get done. Truth be told, this is more me trying to talk myself into doing just that. It seems to me that watching too much TV puts me in a state where the “I wish” list starts sounding like stuff you’d need a genie for.

Still, as I said, I believe in having dreams, and sometimes a few regrets – that’s just life. I just don’t want them to take over. So I decided to make two lists. List #1 is for stuff I need to get out of my chest and then file away. List #2 is for stuff I need to get off my ass and get working towards.

So here we go: (and I know I am giving everyone plenty of ammunition for future teasing, blackmail etc)

LIST#1: I wish…

… I was naturally slim and could eat whatever I wanted.

… I hadn’t died my hair before the move, so that between the color, the stress and the fact that I haven’t yet found a good hair stylist who can help me grow out my angled bob,  it now closely resembles something you clean floors with. Or Harry Potter’s Nimbus 2000, after 5 years of use and a few too many violent Quiddich matches (man, I am such a geek.)

… a long-lost relative would leave me a park-view apartment in Manhattan.

… we had never left NY.

… I hadn’t eaten that dessert.

… my feet were dainty and lovely so I could fit into Louboutins.

… I could afford Louboutins.

… spending time in a playground didn’t make me feel like banging my head repeatedly against a wall.

LIST#2: I’d like to…

… write a book one day.

… eventually get down to a size 10.

… have more sex. (That’s right, I said it!)

… resist dessert. (Connected to the “size 10″ point above, no doubt.)

… get Stella potty trained some time soon.

… get back to work and find a job I enjoy doing and I’m good at.

… get out of this slump I have been in almost non-stop since I moved.

… learn to use a professional camera so I can take full credit for the photos I shoot (whereas now I can only take credit for the composition, the rest goes to my CoolPix.)

I know I might regret sharing this, but right now I’m ok with it. Maybe if you share some of the points on your lists I’ll keep being ok (despite this bordering on TMI). So come on, let’s dish