Wank Mining?!

Oh! Neddy! What's all this? You foul egg! What a naughty little title for a blog. What is your thinking behind this other blog anyway? Are you setting up by yourself? Are you starting a porn empire? I think I should have been told of this, instead of finding out from the servants.

Anyway, happy New Year, my fine beauty!!! What have you been doing so far? Did you write your prose tale? Did you choose the right words? What words did you use? Do tell. Perhaps I am using some of these words in this letter? Wouldn't that be something? Will you be getting marked in percentages or cuddles? The latter, I hope.

Did you vote for Hillary Clinton? What do you think of her? I think she's a poor man's Sarah Kennedy, myself, and therefore not worth much of a self-fiddle. But perhaps you have different ideas?

So far, I have bought some socks and watched Monsieur Godard's 'Alphaville'. I think that's quite enough to be getting on with, don't you? Can you hear me?

I have also written a New Year manifesto:

a) When you do a poo, you should wipe your own arse. The police have better things to do.

b) Stop wearing Mammy's tights. They're Mammy's tights, not yours.

c) Don't murder people. Some people don't like being murdered, so don't take it for granted that they do.

d) Stop going on crapulous blogs, written by real ale drinking media types who are only interested in mutual masturbation. There lies madness.

Will you follow these rules? Will I? Lets hope so.

Yours,

Teddy Caution.

I'm very well, thank you, you're welcome.So here we are, the end of the article? Had fun? Me too!