Caught Nob-Handed!

Dear Neddy,

First of all please excuse my hand-writing, I am currently fondling some breasts, so I have had to lodge the quill in my jap's eye.

Anyway- imagine my surprise when I knocked on your bedroom door to find it answered by one Tom Clegg, of Oddbod fame. What he was doing answering your bedroom door I can only imagine, but my imagination leads me to suspect sodomy. Am I correct? Yes, I thought so, he was showing you his Oddbod Junior wasn't he? Don't try to deny it, Neddy, you are a liar...you are a liar, and you shave your legs, but you make nice sausages, and that's what saves you. So relax Neddy, your secret is safe with me.

In other news, I have decided to spend some time in 1957, John Gielgud has a spare room in his cottage, so you might not hear from me for a while. I tire of the Bagpuss organ mice who patrol the intertubes, with their spurious thought-farts reeking up my mind, so I'm off to lie nude in mustard fields, and think of delicate doilies, green trilbies, and lady bits.

Remember me to Mammy,

Teddy.

P.S. Does your doggy like it when you blow up his bum?So here we are, the end of the article? Had fun? Me too!