Finding out Gender

We decided not to find out the baby's gender during my first pregnancy. To us, this was the last "Great Surprise" that anyone could have. We spent the next several months dreaming about our baby and wondering what this little person would be like.

Boy, did this cause a stir. Everyone wanted to know the baby's gender and just couldn't understand why we wouldn't find out. It was as if we were intentionally torturing them. We heard ridiculous things such as "You need to know so that you can decorate the nursery." Or, "You need to know so that you can bond with the baby." And, "You need to know so that I can send you a gift." Finally, "You need to know so that you don't get all yellow and green stuff."

Even strangers wanted to know the baby's gender. Would their reaction be different to a boy or girl response? I suppose they'd tailor their advice accordingly. Again, we were blissfully happy and trying to enjoy the pregnancy. We didn't need to hear the whole world's opinions.

Flash forward to pregnancy number two. We decided to find out the baby's gender because it is a very different pregnancy and we also wanted to have a different experience. We dream about him and wonder what he'll be like, just the same as we did with Ainsley. We are excited beyond belief to meet this little guy.

People seem very happy when we answer their question about gender. "It's a boy!" seems to make them feel like we've let them in on headline news. But they don't stop there. "What's the baby's name?" they ask. We usually provide vague responses, hoping they'll get the hint. We love an element of suprise so we keep the name under wraps. We also don't want to hear anyone's negative thoughts about the names we've chosen. When it comes to pregnancy, people just go on and on....

They continue to follow up with additional input that gets old after the hundreth time. I get tired of hearing that we can stop having babies now that we have a boy and a girl. It's as if one needs both genders to have a complete family and one of each is enough. At least I don't have to hear "Are you going to try again?" since one must be disappointed if their children are the same sex. How rude.

Finding out gender during pregnancy is a recent concept due to modern technology. It's the parents' decision, as well as every other issue concerning the child. I enjoy talking about pregnancy and child rearing, but a little tact goes a long way.