I recently became a writer on Examiner.com. I am the Newark Early Childhood Parenting Examiner, writing about different topics involving young children, babies and toddlers. Any suggestions you have for topics, things you want researched and discussed on my Examiner page can be e-mailed to me at Nicoledwatkins@hotmail.com. I am very excited to be a part of Examiner.com's panel of writers. Please come visit my section and leave any comments! Thanks so much to all my readers on blogger and... Read Full Story

Shelly passed away October sixth. I haven't been able to think of exactly what to say in this post because it's still so raw. She was coughing a lot the last time I saw her which was a few days before she passed. Then she began turning away visitors, wanting to spend time just laying in bed with her kids. Then she couldn't keep any food down. She had leukemic meningitis and in her last twenty-four hours she starting getting stiff all over, then came the fever. She was out of it for the most p... Read Full Story

I've been at Shelly's as much as possible since she's been home. I feel like I should help in anyway I can since I know she would do the same for me or Bill in a heartbeat. Plus I selfishly want to suck in as much time as possible with her before there's no time left.......Her husband, Cliff has been amazing. He really seems to be holding it together but I could see him at different times holding onto her, afraid to let go. The other day Shelly fell asleep on the couch so I was trying to... Read Full Story

I visited Shelly today and yesterday. Everything still feels like one bad horrible nightmare. It still just doesn't feel like it's really happening. It's so hard to look at her, she was always this bubbly beautiful woman with glasses, curly hair and a huge smile that could light up the sky. Now she looks so old, no hair, since she's blind she doesn't need her glasses anymore, she's so thin and frail, her smile is small and weak but it's still there. I sat last night and let myself cry ov... Read Full Story

There are a lot of things in this life I don't understand but lately I've been struggling with the biggest one. Why would God make someone so kind, loving, giving, understanding, young with kids suffer with an aggressive form of cancer? My husband's cousin, Shelly has been battling Acute Myeloid Leukemia since four days before last Christmas. As soon as the doctors discovered it, they admitted her the next day to begin treatment so her and her husband had an early Christmas for their kids... Read Full Story

This is my first post in a very long time. I feel like I haven't had time to breathe let alone post anything. We spent the summer working with a child study team for Dare Devil to see if he qualified for a special needs preschool. At first glance they recommended a regular preschool, he seems smart, he can walk, talk, see, and hear (we think) on his own unlike some other kids in the program. But they said that if he were to get "kicked out" of the regular preschool then they would of cou... Read Full Story

So we've had a hell of a couple of weeks. First my husband lost his job. That was a huge blow, especially with this economy and three kids. All I did was cry for about a week. The day after he found out he was getting laid off, I found out that biopsies I had done on two moles on my back turned out a little scary. They said they showed pre-cancerous cells, so now I need to go in for two different surgeries to have skin removed around where the moles are-there goes my stress level. And ... Read Full Story

Today is even worse than yesterday. I can't stop crying today. I feel pulled in every different direction. I can't think straight. I want to eat everything that isn't nailed down. I feel worthless. I feel tiny and insignificant. I feel like I'm in the middle of a million different crisis.I haven't felt this bad since right before I wound up in the nut house (again I can call it that since I was officially admitted there). I'm sitting here now hoping that typing this out will be thera... Read Full Story

As I sit here indulging in peanut butter wafers, watching A Walk in The Clouds for the thousandth time while Dare Devil is on the last leg of his nap and I'm waiting for the Princess to take hers, I am agitated. I can't stop feeling that way for anything. I also feel really, really down, really sad, really alone, and even angry.I should tell you that on top of the postpartum psychosis I have, I also found out that I'm bipolar and OCD. So I started out feeling good this morning, cleaning,... Read Full Story

The other day Bill and I were at a flea market and I decided to sell some of my dresses from dances I went to in high school. It kind of broke my heart to see them go, part of me thought I'd hold onto them for the Princess but she'd probably scoff at me embarrassed by the thought of such old dresses on her newer styled body. So I decided to part with them. These dresses were really beautiful, perfect condition and smaller sizes. We sold them to an older lady whose daughter owns a consignm... Read Full Story