Dance Like Nobody's Watching

Have you ever been caught doing something embarrassing, because you thought that no one was looking? Or you forgot someone else was in the room?

I think this happens to everyone, because I know I've been caught and I've caught other people too; like the time I was working with my friend Tara.

Tara's office was in a remote location, and for the majority of the time she was by herself. Occasionally I needed to do work in her office, at the desk beside her. So one day we were working away, and I heard an excessive amount of stapling coming from her desk. So I looked over, quite perplexedly

Mary: Umm, are you stapling your pants?

Tara: What? No... (nervous laugh)

Then Tara got up and like 50 staples fell out of her pants. She finally admitted that she just wanted to know what would happen if she tried to staple her pants together, and she had forgotten that I was there.


When my mom was in high school she was a bench warmer for he basketball team in grade nine. She never saw any floor time, so occasionally she'd get bored sitting on the bench. So one day, mid way through the season, she got into the team's first aid kit and taped all of her fingers together. At that moment, for the first time ever, her coach called her to go in. She could not remove the tape, so she set out onto the floor with all of her fingers bound together. Her coach immediately saw what she had done, and yanked her off the court, and she never played basketball again.


A while back my friend Jen and I were eating KFC, and I briefly left the room, only to return and find her drinking the last bit of gravy right out of the container. So I tried to make fun of her but, it's delicious, and I know deep down, I was only upset that I hadn't thought of it first.


I think, by far, the worst is when you get caught doing something embarrassing by a family member when you're young; my sisters caught me singing Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted Snake", with my own brand of perfected choreography, in the bathtub when I was eight years old, and to this day, they rehash the story every chance they get. Which probably why I feel a unique sense of shame whenever I hear a Paula Abdul song.


xoxox,
m