Clarion West, Week 2, Day 4

Savaged.

…

At Clarion West, we are issued tickets at the start of each week, maybe four or five of them. If we go over time, or start with a negative critique, or don’t get around to critiquing someone, we are supposed to throw the tickets into the centre of the room. At the end of the week, we put all the remaining tickets into a bowl and we draw for prizes like books and toys. Obviously, these tickets are fairly valuable, although very occasionally (maybe five times so far), someone will have a lot to say about a particular story and cast their tickets in.

Three people cast tickets in for my story.

Everyone agreed there wasn’t much problem with my prose (although one person described it as “workman”, which I’m not sure is entirely fair. Flowery, no. But workman? D&D writers are workman. I figure I’m a little more metaphorical than that). But nearly every other aspect of the piece was criticized. Only one person caught that one of my main characters was named Sally Hemings, and he thought it might have been for shock value. I held the Versimiltoad close to me the entire time.

I’m feeling pretty beat up. People tried to tell me that it was a good thing that my story meritted three tickets, but praise was thin. Few people understood the message I was trying to impart in the piece. At least, people found the rape to be inoffensive, which is what I thought would be the tricky part, so I guess I succeeded there.

I feel like a fraud. I won Writers of the Future, but my stories keep getting savaged. I’m sure everyone is asking themselves right now just how the hell I did it. I wish I’d never said anything at all about it, except that I thought it might help in my application essay (Turns out it doesn’t. They do no good).

I think that I tried to write an amazing work of literature, and I’m just not good enough yet to do that. I’m a beginning writer who’s not particularly well read, and I was arrogant enough to try and make a “Statement”. I need to just accept that right now, I need to learn how to write a “Story” well, and not set my sights any higher.

My next piece, “IN THE SHAPE OF A MAN” is going to be a fluff piece. Hopefully original and awesome, but no messages this time. Pure escapism. I hope it’s better received.