A while ago, over at this website, they told me I needed an About Me page. And I guess it's fair enough. Someone getting here by accident needs some context. For example, Google "Eric Cantor douche." (You will currently find me at number 5, just before Wonkette's "Eric Cantor smells of cow dung." Really, for a long time I was number one for that search. For a long time I was also number one for "Glenn Beck naked." I know, pretty cool). Anyway, I was born in Israel thirty-almost-six years... Read Full Story

But who cares what I have to say? Here's what they say about "That one" on Free Republic: It was an appropriate assertion. I liked it. Yes! Obama has a name it's HUSSEIN! But we have been told to not use that name! I would have called him something else. I guess “that one” works. We just refer to him as “it”. I think until he furnishes his legitimate birth certificate, “That one” is quite appropriate. He should have said shithead. And that's about it. Here's a quote from a reader at... Read Full Story

Dear Mr. Kissinger, I know you take an hourly dose of the life-enhancing potion you were given by your friends in the Illuminati. That's cool. However, just in case you get sick of it all and decide you've had enough of the burden of living inside your God-forsaken vessel, built out of spare parts of organ donors and hobos, I have an idea for a swan song. You're going to like it. You know how Sarah Palin has been studying about the world from you in the last few weeks? You know how you... Read Full Story

Now that I got that one out, in other news-- Speaking of hurricanes, this man is crazy: And while we're there, I don't want to sound like Mr. Pervy, but can NBC give Michelle Kosinski a desk job? I can't sleep at night knowing she's risking her life covering hurricanes. (Now, I know she will always be remembered for Canoe-gate, and that since then she's been mostly covering missing girls in Aruba, but she's back on the disaster-front, and I'm not happy about it). After 35 years, I've... Read Full Story

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On September 15th, 2001, a friend of mine, Honey, and I took the subway from Brooklyn to Penn Station to help Honey with her luggage. She was going to visit her parents in Maryland. It was a beautiful day, so when we left the station, we decided to walk around for a while rather than go back home. Waiting for a light to change, we heard a faint sound of bagpipes. We followed it. When we reached the fire station, we looked around and suddenly found ourselves standing next to Bill Clinton. He... Read Full Story

A few days ago, on a political blog, I commented that no matter what happens, this is going to be a historic election because either an African-American becomes President or a woman becomes Vice President, and no matter what happens, this is historical, blablabla. Well, I take it back. Saying Palin's nomination is historic because she's a woman is like saying the last eight years have been historic because it was the first time an idiot man-child has been allowed to rule a nation. How... Read Full Story

I was a security guard in a private school in London, and to get the parents to feel they were helping, they each had to stand around with me when the kids came in the morning and when they left. So one morning I'm standing there with this rich mother and she's being friendly, asking for my name. I told her my name, and she said, "Oh, that’s my gardener's name!" And it's been, what, ten years since then, and I still regret not saying anything back. I should have asked for her name and then... Read Full Story

Today is our seventh wedding anniversary. Met her eleven years ago, in two days. I already wrote about the day we met, and I wrote about what happened the day after. So what else can I write about? Sure, I can write about how she makes me happy, which is a little embarrassing, considering all the crap that's going on in the world and that Bush has been with us for 8 out of our 11 years together. I can write about how she makes me believe in the possibility of change from within through her... Read Full Story

I just thought I'd say that first, and that's all you're gonna get about the Olympics. Rogge, the President of The International Olympic Committee, didn't like it when Usain Bolt celebrated after his incredible victories. You don't get too many reasons to get on Yahoo! nowadays, but this article is worth it. Congratulations, Rachel Maddow. An Erection Day Special: of course I was completely (half) joking about that whole Hottest Daddy Blogger thing, but I'm not going to say no to this... Read Full Story