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WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – Leo Machuchal is back on the campaign trail in Washington Heights. He can be seen everywhere in his little bus, yelling “vote for Leo!” But Leo respects our privacy, and hates to intrude on it. For this reason his first bill will be the requirement of individual cell phone booths for everyone who uses a cell phone. Leo talks on the subway The voters don’t know what to make of it.  But they sure love talking. Puerto Rican Guy Tags: bill , bus... Read Full Story

LOS ANGELES, CA  – In a stunning development, producers of the re-make of Dog Day Afternoon today announced that El Nico will not play himself. He will play the part of Al Pacino, and will scream “Attica!” if police try to arrest him.   Puerto Rican Guy Tags: Afternoon , Al Pacino , Attica , day , development , dog , guy , Los Angeles , Nico , Part , Police , Puerto , Rican , today , try This entry was posted on Friday, July 9th, 2010 at 8:48 AM and is filed under Campaign 2009... Read Full Story

MIAMI, FL  – El Nico the bank robber has captured the imagination of Hollywood. Producer Martin Bregman negotiated personally with El Nico, who agreed to play himself in a re-make of Dog Day Afternoon . According to the Hollywood Reporter “El Nico is no amateur. He negotiated for an upfront fee; a first dollar 20% gross deal to a breakeven of $50 million; performance bumps to $200 million; worldwide Xbox 720, DVD, sound track and merchandising rights; and other stuff we can’t understand... Read Full Story

MIAMI, FL  – A clue has finally turned up in the manhunt for El Nico , who has robbed eleven banks in three weeks in the Palm Beach area of Miami, Florida. According to Pedro Paramo, Chief of Detectives for Miami Dade County, “the man loves only two things. Money and his hair.” Sources have told Paramo that El Nico gets his hair done, on the morning of every robbery. “We interviewed every beautician in Palm Beach,” said Paramo, “and we have a few leads.” El Nico and his hair Miami... Read Full Story

MIAMI, FL  – A one-man crime wave is sweeping through Dade County. A South American terrorist known as El Nico has hit seven banks in three weeks, robbing a total of 4 million dollars.              His modus operandi is very simple. He walks up to the branch manager and tells him to call his wife. “Tell her you’ll be late for supper tonight, because I’m going to shoot your balls off.” After the phone call, the branch manager is in a very cooperative mood. The branch manager... Read Full Story

SOUTH AFRICA  – There is a soccer conspiracy against Leo Machuchal. Throughout the entire FIFA World Cup games, every team has kicked and abused him. The latest attack is unforgivable.  No one has ever been assaulted like the Puerto Rican Guy. To add insult to injury, Leo was given a red card and forced to leave the game. Leo draws a red card We demand an investigation into this kick.  The other player was clearly offside. The look on his face shows that it was racially... Read Full Story

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – The editors of Puerto Rican Guy wish you a fabulous and safe July 4 th weekend. As a public service, we provide conclusive evidence that Leo Machuchal was the original symbol of the American Revolution. The white man has re-written our history and suppressed the truth. But what the heck…we know that Leo was there. So happy July 4 th , and please drink responsibly! Puerto Rican Guy Tags: American , drink , evidence , guy , Happy , heck , HEIGHTS... Read Full Story

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – In an effort to discredit his campaign for State Assembly a phony Leo Machuchal is traveling around the world. So far he has appeared in Cuba… At the Old Vic in London… And a Club Med sports camp. The voters don’t know what to make of it.  But this much is certain…Leo has an evil twin brother, who is trying to undo Leo’s hard-working campaign.  We will find this man, and bring him to justice. Puerto Rican Guy Tags: Assembly , Brother , camp... Read Full Story

WASHINGTON HEIGHTS, NYC  – Leo Machuchal has suspended his State Assembly campaign in order to finalize his divorce from an unidentified woman. No one, not even Leo, knows who this woman is. But she keeps following him around and waving what appears to be an authentic marriage certificate from Hong Kong. El parasito politico She is known as El Parasito Politico , and has been married to several elected officials from Washington Heights. Puerto Rican Guy Tags: Assembly , Campaign... Read Full Story

SOUTH AFRICA– Leo Machuchal single-handedly defeated the Argentine national soccer team in South Africa this past weekend. Using his incredible feet, Leo scored three goals in 28 minutes. Gooooooooooooooooooooool Leo’s third goal was the most spectacular…a bicycle kick that the goalie never even saw. We hope that Leo completes his World Cup soccer exploits, so that he can return to his campaign for the State Assembly in Washington Heights. Puerto Rican Guy Tags: Africa... Read Full Story