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From: puertoricanguy.com
There is a homeless congressman in Washington, D.C.
His wife caught him sleeping with an intern, and kicked him out of the house.
Take a memo, darling
His staff kicked him out if the office because he smelled too bad.
He has no money and no campaign office.
In fact, his entire campaign consists of sitting on the steps of the Capitol Building and talking to himself.
Vote for me, vote for me, vote for me, vote for me, vote for me…
According to Leo Machuchal the homeless... Read Full Story
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From: puertoricanguy.com
Leo went out to vote last week.
He felt it was his civic duty.
After all, people shed their blood to make America free.
But then he looked at the political mail he had received.
He took a closer look at the candidate.
Leo turned back and went home.
Puerto Rican Guy
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Tags: America, Blood, Candidate, duty, Face, guy, home, Leo, look, mail, Politics, Puerto, U.S., week
This entry was posted on Thursday,... Read Full Story
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From: puertoricanguy.com
EAST HARLEM, NY – Leo Machuchal was invaded by the Sanitation Department of NYC last week.
An anonymous caller complained of a foul smell coming from his East Harlem apartment.
When the garbage men arrived they found mountains of boxes; towers of newspapers and books; heaps of chandeliers, sofas and debris; human limbs and organs (including a pickled kidney); a Robert Morton Wonder Organ with twin pipe chambers; and a Model T Ford.
A dead man was found in a closet.
A... Read Full Story
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SOUTH POLE, ANTARCTICA - On November 14, while watching a ship-to-shore broadcast of the Cotto-Pacquiao boxing match, an Australian merchant marine vessel made a stunning discovery.
The boxing match had been so long and boring, that their ship had drifted all the way to the South Pole.
Due to global warming the continent of Antarctica is now smaller than Manhattan Island, and the Australian ship bumped right into it.
This global warming had also melted the protective snow a... Read Full Story
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NEW YORK, NY - The first late-night Latino talk show premiered on TBS last week.
Lopez Tonight had fabulous guests, great music and sharp comedy from the master himself.
Lopez Tonight averaged 1.7 million viewers overall on its ‘home base’ of TBS, and pulled in another 1.5 million on the other Turner-owned nets.
Those numbers outperform the season averages for popular programs like Jay Leno, Conan, The Daily Show, and Jimmy Kimmel Live.
Congratulations to George Lopez, the... Read Full Story
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LOS ANGELES, CA - The Latino community is deeply saddened by the passing of Lou Dobbs.
He was the Bull Connor of our generation.
He sang the praises of hard-working immigrants, and probably hired a few on the side.
Lou Loves Mexicans
As a weekend hobby, Lou hired unemployed Mexicans over to his house, so he could feel them up and arrest them.
Manos arriba!
We will miss Lou Dobbs and his self-interested race mongering.
We will miss the way he bared his teeth, at anyone who... Read Full Story
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RIKERS ISLAND, NY - What is it with the New York City police?
Leo Machuchal got into a friendly conversation in the men’s room of the George Washington Bridge bus station, and within ten minutes they busted everyone in the bathroom.
An hour later he was in Rikers Island…without seeing a judge, or a courtroom, or anything.
This is outrageous!
Is there a law against being friendly in the bathroom?
A Puerto Rican can’t pee in peace anymore.
Puerto Rican Guy
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BRONX, NY - Leo Machuchal was a super in a Bronx tenement for 28 years.
Nobody gave him much credit for anything.
He lived in a basement, he spoke little English, and everyone dismissed him.
They didn’t know what Leo was building in his basement.
He did it very patiently.
Then when he finished, he said a prayer and disappeared.
His invention was recently discovered on 923 Grand Concourse Avenue (in the basement).
Here it is.
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x525r4_extra... Read Full Story
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CAGUAS, PR - Leo Machuchal traveled on his time machine last night.
He went fast forward to the end of the world.
Surprisingly, the world took it in stride.
The media reported it in their usual lazy manner, with all their biases intact.
Here are just a few samples.
WE’RE DEAD
COSMOPOLITAN
LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGEMENT
DAY WITH OUR NEW
“ARMAGEDDON” DIET!
TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT
FROM THE APOCALYPSE
O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN
THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR
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From: puertoricanguy.com
ALBANY, NY - New York State Assemblyman Adam Clayton Powell IV is not known for his intellect or legislative output.
He has been accused of raping two women. One of them was a 19-year old legislative intern, whom he got drunk in his Albany hotel room.
He has been arrested for drunk driving.
His driver’s license has been suspended.
He is under investigation for converting $30,000 in campaign funds to his own personal use.
But Powell has reached a new low.
Last week in Alb... Read Full Story






