America’s Next Top Deity: Job Selection Criteria

As an atheist, I am always baffled by the extent to which people are willing to compromise, both morally and factually, to justify and explain an omnipotent, omniscient, wholly good god’s existence. A reduction of Epicurus sums up my frustration quite nicely:

As Epicurus points out above, more eloquently than I can, if God isn’t omnipotent then he can’t be the source of moral authority.  If God is omnipotent, then he is a fucking asshole . . .

I don’t get into religious arguments with people because it’s a lose-lose situation. I know I can’t rely on logic to make them overcome their deep-seeded convictions, and in the process of flustering and discomforting them, I potentially alienate friends and/or colleagues. No sense in converting the converted.

But I will say that I haven’t come across a single convincing resolution to that omnipotence paradox. The usual retorts that can logically transcend the paradox are “God works in mysterious ways” and “some suffering is necessary for God’s plan for greater good”. Both are able to explain the countless instances of human misery on this planet without undermining God’s supposedly perfect nature (ie. they don’t imply God lacks ability or goodness). Instead, they assume human fallibility and imperfection makes us incapable of realizing the necessity of suffering, or perceiving god’s perfection.

Even said argument’s are logically inconsistent in some manner. But logic aside, let me just ask the faithful why their selection criteria for a deity is so low? Are they really prepared to surrender their devotion and belief to a deity who “works in mysterious ways” and who would inflict harm on some to fulfill his master plans? Do they really feel a deity who keeps them in the dark about why good, innocent people suffer deserves their worship and adulation? People have higher standards for spouses, parents, and employees. Why must they lower them - to accept the epidemic of poverty, disease, oppression and persecution that pervades this world - for a being that constitutes their moral and epistemological authority?

Let me just say that this current god - if he does exist - has not done a good enough job for me. At the very minimum, the position of CDO - Chief Deity Officer - would require a few things on the resume:

- The eradication of three of the following: poverty, AIDs, political oppression, genocide, sexual persecution, childhood diseases, sex trafficking, and international terrorism.

- Clear and unmistakeable communication to mankind on why 1) The Holocaust was not prevented 2) Why the Armenian Genocide was not prevented 3) Why the Rape of Nanking was not prevented and 4) Why the genocide in Darfur has not been stopped.

- Three acts of outright intervention against evil.

- A promise of continuous communication with mankind to correct the self-serving diatribes of religious fundamentalists and extremists.

Fulfill these, and he might make it into the hotseat for an interview.

Hat Tip: Ferdi.

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