The nominating conventions for American politics are profoundly confusing events that are designed to convince you that the other party wishes nothing more than to take your money, destroy the future and void their bladders onto your kitchen table. While this may or may not be true, The Reasonable Ego would like to present excerpts from the nominating speech of Barack Obama, with clarifying footnotes provided by the Obama campaign. Just click on the footnote to reach the creamy, satisfying... Read Full Story

I really hope that Barack Obama doesn’t announce his choice for vice-president before I finish writing this. If he does, I’m going to become an American citizen just so I can think I’m going to vote for McCain and then change my mind at the last moment and vote for Obama, because if I vote for him we can become pals, and when we are pals I can betray him by making sweet, sweet love to his tall, lean a sultry partner in life; Senator Joe Biden. It now seems all but certain that in the next... Read Full Story

Science is serious business; Serious. Damn. Business. If you don’t believe me ask the guys who produce NOVA for PBS. When they use serious computer graphics of string and some M&Ms to show you how Niels Bohr got the atom all wrong, you had better damned well be impressed. Like the Roman Church of old, they will wring respect from your defiance. Unlike the Roman Church of old, they will do it with a documentary narrated by the guy who played Mike Hammer. That’s right, Mike Hammer. Stacey... Read Full Story

1. Bill Donohue of the Week: Bill Donohue!! As a part of the ongoing war against sacred crackers, flat breads and croutons, a play entitled You’re Eating God is being performed in the godless metropolis of Rhode Island. According to Bill, whom I always take at his word, this play is “mocking the Eucharist”. Further, there is apparently “nothing gentle” about it. I am sure that I don’t even know what that means. The Donohue Zeppelin then floats above the landscape warning us of the dangerous... Read Full Story

Posted by SinisterDan on 7 August , 2008 For the past week I have been trying madly AND madly trying to get a blog post put together so that my traffic doesn’t shrivel like the vulnerable testicle of the Hairless Arctic Pig. But sometimes, reality simply won’t cooperate. Since I’m hip with the kids and always trying to ‘keep it real”, I’m forced to comply with the edicts of reality. In my house, we obey the rules of metaphysical ontology. Also, when possible, we try no to exclude our... Read Full Story

Posted by SinisterDan on 31 July , 2008 There is Latin warning to all consumers; let the buyer beware. Caveat Emptor (literal translation; ‘my cravat has deflated’) has remained with us because it makes sense – they even mentioned it on Star Trek. With a global energy crisis, and the French President marrying a retired super model, there has never been a time to be more careful before buying your new onion. Every summer, big, glossy publications like ‘Bulb and Alliums’ release their new... Read Full Story

Posted by SinisterDan on 25 July , 2008 If there’s two things I can’t stand it’s people who know important stuff and democracy. People who know stuff have a sickening need to tell you what they know, and this is why you have conversations with strangers about all the porn hidden in the Bible. Democracy is equally useless because it grossly inhibits my ability to have people sent off to special camps where they can be tortured educated into not telling me about what they think they know... Read Full Story

Posted by SinisterDan on 23 July , 2008 Again, here for your listening pleasure (what?) are my six favorite news stories and six favorite blogs for this, the last week of 1952. Hey, my wife was right, there is a gas leak in the kitchen! Way to go Mrs. Sinister! 1.”Needs to Proofread Press Releases” of the Week; In my beloved Canada, the other-coastal province of British Columbia has practically had its beaches fouled with the appearance of served, human feet washing ashore at inopportune... Read Full Story

Posted by SinisterDan on 21 July , 2008 On Sunday, I was ready to do some serious blogging. I was going to watch the Sunday news shows and report them back to you. It would be with a twinkle in my eye that I reported Cokie Roberts had audibly called Sam Donaldson a ‘fancy boy’ on national TV. I would comment wittily on Tom Brokaw, elder statesman of the news business, slamming his fist into the table so hard that Senate majority leader Harry Reid shrieked like a little girl. Bill Kristol... Read Full Story

Posted by SinisterDan on 17 July , 2008 At the request of the malevolent but nigh-irresistible Diesel, I will impart some small sliver of my blogging knowledge so that some of you might also become lazy, half-assed amateur humorists who are easily distracted and deeply disgusted by the superior performance of inferior persons. When I say “nigh-irresistible”, I am making reference to those three magical nights at the Hilton in North Platte, Nebraska. Diesel knows what I’m talking about. 1... Read Full Story