My Halloween Costume Says:
My favorite website is littleasianboys.com
My Halloween Costume Says:
I’m a frequent masturbator who lives at home with my mother.
My Halloween Costume Says:
I’m old and I may have dementia.
Our Halloween Costumes Say:
We are no strangers to the free clinic.
My Halloween Costume Says:
I am a gentleman. After I made sweet love to this pumpkin, I took it out on a date.
Our Halloween Costumes say:
Thanks to roofies, this guy frequently sleeps with us ... Read Full Story
Midwestern Logic: Let your clothes do the talking.
Judging from this guy’s jacket, clearly, he’s a baller and quite possibly a - Shot Caller.
The TC bets that tonight he’ll hit the HIIIGHWAY and make money the FLYYYY WAY. But there’s got to be a BETT-ER WAYY! A better way, better way, YEAH-AHHHH .
We’d also like to thank Wilson’s Leather for their incredible pleather clearance sales without which this look would not have been possible.
COMMENTS WELCOME! Read Full Story
(This is what Jesus would do)
Midwest Logic - This is why we drink:
We drink because we weren’t breastfed.
We drink because it helps the snowy days blur into oblivion.
We drink because we’re trying to get off the pipe.
We drink because we can’t stand the sight of our cankles.
We drink because all hobbies are boring without alcohol.
We drink to suppress our homosexual tendancies.
We drink because it makes us better Walmart greeters.
We drink because our heal... Read Full Story
(The British just love our Midwestern customs)
AMERIKA, the BEEUTIFULL…
A place where alcoholics rule since July 4th 1776.
College Logic:
The quicker the beer goes down my gullet, the faster I can get laid.
I’m ten times more attractive after a 12 pack.
Last night was lame. I didn’t even puke on myself.
I broke my ‘89 Oldsmobile key off in a can of Premo!
Today was a good day - I found $2, I spent my financial aid money on a bag of weed, my herpes test came back n... Read Full Story
(The reincarnation of 2Pac has an uncontrollable hunger)
Midwestern THUG Logic:
I know I’m thuggish ruggish because…
I’ve been stealing Newports from my mom since 1990!
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom…with my hand.
I not only smoke my weed, but I eat it too!
I once met a guy who had been locked up and he told me of the ins and outs of the ‘joint.’
I ain’t gots to work, I collect straight worker’s comp after I slipped and fe... Read Full Story
1. You are willing to tongue anything that’s put in front of you. Including insects, friends, convenience store clerks, cows, the homeless, meth-mouths, Carl Pohlad and your alcoholic step dad.
2. You think invite everyone and anyone to get a better look at your baby-door.
3. You think your SPAM t-shirt looks “cool.”
4. You smoke cancer stix like Camel’s paying you! And you wear sweatbands when you’re not even sweating.
5. You have no job and you believe ... Read Full Story
Dear (Midwestern) Mom,
I know you have been smoking since you were 12 years old, but it’s time to give it up. You’re only 48 years old, but you look more like 65 years old. I also find it very unhealthy that you cough more than you smile and you can no longer take the one flight of stairs to get to your office at work. You shouldn’t have to take the elevator…it’s only 7 steps. I know you claim that you “have to” take the elevator because of your &#... Read Full Story
TCRAZZI Says:
Dude, give it a rest…you’re at a concert. We realize that your job as the Assistant Night Manager at Perkins Restaurant comes with a lot of responsibility, but I think they will survive without you for one night.
Midwestern Logic:
The Definition of Minnesota = A middle-aged drunk white dude with pit stains proudly waving the state flag while it’s attached to a hockey stick. Viva La Ice!
COMMENTS WELCOME! Read Full Story
