5 Signs that you’re WASTED in the Midwest!

1. You are willing to tongue anything that’s put in front of you. Including insects, friends, convenience store clerks, cows, the homeless, meth-mouths, Carl Pohlad and your alcoholic step dad.

2. You think invite everyone and anyone to get a better look at your baby-door.

3. You think your SPAM t-shirt looks “cool.”

4. You smoke cancer stix like Camel’s paying you! And you wear sweatbands when you’re not even sweating.

5. You have no job and you believe that THIS makes some kind of important political and social statement. Seriously, smoke more weed.