What kind of douchery is this?

(The reincarnation of 2Pac has an uncontrollable hunger)

Midwestern THUG Logic:

I know I’m thuggish ruggish because…

• I’ve been stealing Newports from my mom since 1990!

• I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom…with my hand.

• I not only smoke my weed, but I eat it too!

• I once met a guy who had been locked up and he told me of the ins and outs of the ‘joint.’

• I ain’t gots to work, I collect straight worker’s comp after I slipped and fell during my shift at Walgreens.

• All my friends IS mad crazy! They pee on the toilet seats in the Super America baffroom and hell no, they don’t wipe it up!

• I don’t even cur that I’d crush a honey with my massive belly… if I ever get an opportunity to lay on top of one.

• I got five 2Pac posters hung in my bedroom. My moms tried to tear em down cuz just like George Bush, she hates on black people! But I told her to check herself.

• I drink my 40s while eating my hotdish!

• I rest my gat on my dinner plate-sized nipples.

• I got into 2 fights in middle school!

• My moms married a black dude!

• My online girlfriend lives in Detroit!

• I’m a member of the baddest gang in the Midwest - the White boiZ to the 3rd Power (WB3Ps)!