Huey, Dewey, and Jewy

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I recently broke into Chad Kimball's dressing room at the Shubert Theatre and forced him to spend some quality time with me. Check out my video blahg with Chad below. We're talkin' MEMPHIS, upcoming projects, and even Oprah!Randy Rainbow with Chad Kimball from "MEMPHIS" from Randy Rainbow on Vimeo. MEMPHIS is currently playing @ Broadway's Shubert Theatre. CLICK HERE to see the show's fun new commercial. Read Full Story
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Everybody Wants to Be Black (or "The Whiz")

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Last night I saw a perfectly normal, lucid-looking woman in heels and a really ugly beige tweed skirt suit put down her bag, pull down her hose, lift up her skirt and pee right on the sidewalk of 9th Avenue. The reason I'm telling you this, is because what initially shocked me about this woman - the thing I found most appalling and disturbing about this entire remarkable situation...was the really ugly beige tweed skirt suit. Seriously. I frankly did not even consider the fact that she was ta... Read Full Story
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The Lady Singin' Her Song (or "Baby Weight", or "Baby... Wait!")

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I woke up retardedly early this morning and schlepped to the gym for a rare pre-work workout (the least I could do after single-drunkenly killing off that bottle of wine with dinner last night.) It’s no secret that the neighborhood gym I attend is somewhat ghetto-ass. While my schmancy Crunch-dwelling fag friends brag about their glamorous, airbrushed Chelsea workouts alongside Anderson Cooper or Cheyenne Jackson, I’m at the Astoria Sports Complex in Queens, bench pressing phone books under h... Read Full Story
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BLAHGCAST: It's Not Britney, B*tch!

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Carly Jibson - one of my fave Tracy Turnblads in Hairspray history and star of Broadway's Cry-Baby - is telling all on November 16 in her hot new show Not a Bitch...Not Yet a Woman at Joe's Pub. Click below to hear us bitching all about it in my latest Blahgcast. Not a Bitch...Not Yet a Woman @ Joe's Pub (425 Lafayette Street)Monday, November 16 @ 11:30PMFor tickets, go to www.joespub.com or call 212-967-7555 Read Full Story
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Kibbles 'n T*ts
Written on - Published to Bernadette Peters
I know gay people don’t get to go to Heaven… those nice folks with the bad haircuts and Bibles on the N train keep reminding me. But if there were such a thing as Gay Heaven, I might have been there last night. Bernadette Peters did a one-night-only concert at the Minskoff theatre to benefit Broadway Cares and Broadway Barks, and I was there! Jealous??? Perfect. First of all, I know that as a gay I’m legally required to say this, but Bernadette looks effing incredible! Like, I can’t get over ... Read Full Story
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Finishing the Flat
Written on - Published to Bernadette Peters
One of my favorite things - aside from macraméing, the smell of fresh linen, making homemade bath soaps, and binge drinking - is interior painting. You didn't know that about me, did you? It's inexpensive, it relieves stress, and I think it's the most important thing you can do to dramatically enhance your home next to flushing the toilet. I know a lot about these things. My middle name is Stewart, and for a good reason - I was named after the iconic diva of domestic living and goddess of go... Read Full Story
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Precious Moments and Jelly Doughnuts (or "The Emancipation of Meeskite")

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It’s begun. I’ve started eating nothing but crap. Cookies, candy, ice cream... anything that's put in front of me. I love the week leading up to Halloween, don't you? You can eat all the sugar your enlarged heart desires and not feel guilty! It’s like skipping the gym while you’re on vacation, or gay prison sex; it totally doesn't count!Speaking of Shallowqueen, I’ve narrowed my costume options down to just two: I’m either going to reprise last year’s sensation and go as “Kathy”, the drunk, p... Read Full Story
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Lady of the Lake (or "Oh Look... There Goes My Old Fur Coat!")

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Jesus needs better publicity, Y’all. I was joined on the train last night by a nine-foot-a-hundred man with bad clothes, bad hair, bad breath, and an even worse attitude. He was waving a bible in the air and yelling at me (well, not just at me, but you know how personally I take these things) that Jesus was returning and that he was crazy mad at us for all the sinning and gay sex and stuff, and that we’d better prepare to burn in the Lake of Fire. How does one prepare for that, exactly? I we... Read Full Story
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Tickle Me Barbra
Written on - Published to Elmo
I've just awoken from the most horrible dream: I was in Chicago (the city, not the musical... wait, it gets worse.) I was in the studio audience of the Oprah show, and Oprah had just bellowed that we were to be part of her annual "Favorite Things" episode. Naturally, we all became hysterical and began jumping up and down and crying and ripping the weaves from our scalps, just like Oprah's real studio audience always does when they learn there will be a giveaway. Only once the show finally go... Read Full Story
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I Can Get It for You No Sale

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HAPPY DAYS! I’m LIT’rally just off the plane from Florida. I took a trip down this weekend to spend time with my family for the holiest of all Jewish Ccchhhallah-days, Yom Kippur; the day of atonement traditionally observed by Jews with a twenty-five hour fast and extensive prayer in the synagogue. In the tradition of my family, however, it was observed with extensive drinking and a three-course meal at the Macaroni Grill. What can I say? Siamo molto cattivi poplo ebraico. (That means “... Read Full Story
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