Thecookie

Filed under: Barack Obama , blogging , celebrity , comedy , election , entertainment , fun , funny , Gossip , government , humor , life , Politics Read Full Story

… because Greeneyed girl didn’t find it amusing … Filed under: blogging , comedy , culture , fun , funny , holiday , humor , life , media Tagged: Christmas , haha , hildarious , hunting , reindeer , Santa Read Full Story

I am no Mr. Blackwell ::: but hey, technically neither is he, since he’s dead ‘n all … ::: I am no Joan Rivers ::: thank GAWD!!! ::: I am no Heidi Klum ::: but I pretend to be every Thursday night at Sammi … err, uhh, nevermind … ::: I am no high and mighty fashion critic . I’m a fashion ICON! As in ‘Icon see that shit and that shit ain’t right!’ And this shit ain’t right! —–> It’s wrongness exists on several levels, but let’s not go into the granular details lest The... Read Full Story

Because Bert don’t play, yo! SOURCE: Break.com Filed under: comedy , community , entertainment , family , fun , funny , Gossip , government , humor , life , media , neighborhood , odd , photography Tagged: amusing , costume , dress-up , employment , halloween , kids , occupy , occupy movement , protest , silly , stupid Read Full Story

NEVAH! ::: except lately ::: I say fuck that shit! ::: But then I take on a new project and get fucked by that shit ::: I say screw that noise!! ::: But then comes project scope creep and that noise become DEAFENING::: Sure, the projects are always big … Outsourc, err, offshore partnering … Terminati, uhh, deferring employment for a select set … And getting soooo supremely fed up with that mess that I chucked a BIG OL’ duece to the douches who made me do it, said a... Read Full Story

No, this is not me making a mad dash for my secret hiding place when unexpected company has arrived. ::: I mean really. The couch? OBVIOUS! ::: This is not me looking for that ‘little extra’ I sometimes need but have to strategically protectionize locationally. ::: Like I’d leave it where your chirrenz could steal it?!? Never! ::: This is not me putting a fresh coat of tummy gargle on the living-room Pergo. ::: Well, actually it could be. But it’s not. THIS time. ::: This is an... Read Full Story

Well, seizurey for damn sure … but then I take a step back and ponder Scrawberreh Shoatcake a while longer and suddenly I’m all … … nah, still seizurey. I mean, I get it. I know we can’t all be Sahar ! Hell, Sahar can barely handle being Sahar!! But try, ‘kay? Maybe just a little? Because jammin’ your hams into a mess like that is among the wrongest kinds of wrongs. That pank is stank, yo! I’m serious. Stop it. Because perpetrating this kind of absolute rock-bottom fashion... Read Full Story

Because I just don’t see it. I don’t! I mean – I can FEEL that shit, but I don’t SEE that shit. See, that’s my knee down there (HI KNEE!) and, according to the HBIC at the walk-in I limped-in yesterday it’s cracked … maybe … possibly … so go see an orthopedic surgeon to find out for sure if that bitch is truly busticated. So I did. ‘Cept he wasn’t sure either. So now The Cookie’s gonna get her MRI on (NO SNEEZING, LIE STILL) tomorrow and maybe, possibly find the fuck out for good... Read Full Story

I may have to say farewell to love for my (other) boo … my comedic counsel … my satirical soul-mate … ‘cuz he has brought the WRONG, y’all!! My hopefullyhecanredeemhimselfbecasueIdon’twanttosaygoodbyetomy Ihopenotsoontobeformerlove Katt Williams was supposed to bring the hee hee during a performance in Phoenix last weekend but instead he just brought the ‘Oh HAYULL NAW!’ Because he went there. Because Tracey Morgan’d himself and that, my friends, is a taint you almost can’t terminate... Read Full Story

I got an invite to a sparkly, shiny new fantasy football league last night and I was all WHEEEEEEE!!!!! because I love sparkly, shininess but mostly because this would be my fourth league — my fourth team this fine football season, which would be just a sparkly, shiny shade of  WHEEEEEEETOINFINITY!!!!! , so I point and click my way to the Join This League page, where I carefully keyboard in the League ID and password and get ready to get all kinds of included … … but instead I got this... Read Full Story