TonyMurtagh

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values. Bill said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?' Larry replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?' ___________________________________________ A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?' The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.' ______________________________________ 'Mr. Clark, I... Read Full Story

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a woman about to jump off a bridge, so they stopped. The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What are you doing?" "I'm going to commit suicide," she said. While he didn't want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity either, so he asked... "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?" So she does...a long, deep, lingering passionate kiss. After she's finished, the biker... Read Full Story

A woman checked into a motel on her 70th birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages." She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony - a very handsome man with assorted skills. In the photo he had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain... Read Full Story

A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments. "My arms have gotten so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one. "Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee." "I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time, my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third. "What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you!" "I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said a fourth, to which several... Read Full Story

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail and tripped over a large snake and fell, kerplop right on his twitchy little nose. 'Oh please excuse me,' said the bunny. 'I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and can't see.' 'That's perfectly all right,' replied the snake. 'To be sure, it was my fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?' 'Well, I really don't know,' said the... Read Full Story

God Said, Adam I  want you to do something for me.' Adam said, 'Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?' God said, 'Go down into that valley.' Adam said, 'What's a valley?' God explained it to him. Then God said, 'Cross the river.' Adam said, 'What's a river?'  God explained that to him, and then said, 'Go over to the hill.......' Adam said, 'What is a hill?' So, God explained to Adam what a hill was. He told Adam, 'On the other side of the hill you will find a... Read Full Story

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I've  that more and more people who send text messages and emails have long forgotten the art of capital letters. For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement: "Capitalisation is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse." Is everybody clear on that? Read Full Story

A preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."  The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then  prayed and prayed and prayed for Leroy and the whole... Read Full Story

Dear Son, Just a few lines to let you know I'm still alive. I'm writing this letter slowly because I know you can't read fast. We are all doing very well. You won't recognise the house when you get home - we have moved. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Irish family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to change their... Read Full Story

I was going to use this blog to display some of the photos that I had taken, but have instead, decided to start a web site to display them. So if by any chance you are interested in photography in general, or in seeing my photos in particular, please visit my new site, TonysPhotos.eu Read Full Story