Narrow Laneway Filled With Crooks

Over the years I’ve made a number of proclamations about my future and almost none of them have come even close to true. This is due, in large part, to my fear of failure, or aversion to change, or unwillingness to get off my duff and make things happen. And, while today I will make another (albeit more bold) announcement, I want you to know that this time – unlike the previous seventeen times –I will see this idea all the way through to fruition.
 

I have to, because this is gigantic.
 

If I were a better writer, I would be able to express the gravity of this pronouncement through language or pacing or whatever, but we all realized a long time ago that I am average at best, so let me just come right out and say that this is freaking big.
 

Steven Page is leaving The Barenaked Ladies. The band says that it will continue to record and tour without Mr. Page.What they have not announced, at least not yet, is that they will no doubt need a replacement for Steven. This replacement would obviously need to be able to sing, play guitar and be familiar with most if not all of their songs.
 

Sound like anyone you know?
 

As of today, March 1^st, 2009, I want the world to know that I will be putting all of my efforts for the next several months into becoming a member of The Barenaked Ladies. I know it must sound crazy to an outsider, but this move is years in the making, and from the inside, it totally makes sense.
 

It’s not unheard of for a regular Joe like me to join a band already in progress. The most famous cases of course are Arnel Pineda, who joined the band Journey after they saw him singing on YouTube, and Robert Trujillo, who joined Metallica after they saw him playing with smaller acts like Suicidal Tendencies and Ozzy Ozbourne.
 

I’m almost positive my kids have a YouTube account, so it wouldn’t even be that hard for me to post a few videos of myself playing some BNL songs.These are the songs that I play to warm up, so I know them pretty well and, with a little work, could make them sound great.
 

I’m sure there are some things that I’ve not yet thought of – like how will I raise a family while I’m on the road and stuff, but once I get in the band, I’ll work out the details.I’m sure the transition will be somewhat difficult for the band as well, as Steven has been such an integral part of the band since its inception. I want Jim, Ed, Tyler and Kevin to know that I bring to the table a strong sense of where they’ve been, both musically and personally, and it is not my style to come in and try to change things. I just want to help them continue to produce great music with a touch of humor, and more than a hint of genius.
 

Also, I’m not totally sure I mentioned this, but I can sing, so…
 

Even if this dream of mine goes nowhere because I forget about it a few minutes after posting this blog entry, I really just want to thank The Barenaked Ladies for the opportunity.It’s not everyday you get to daydream about what it would be like to join your favorite band and finally fulfill your dream of being a rock star at 37 ½ years old.