I know, I know, McCain’s geography issues have been milked dry, but I can’t help it. It’s just too tempting to watch again and again as the media shows the line up of McCain’s weaker moments.  (Check back often!)   He said Iraq when he meant Afghanistan; he mistook Somalia for Sudan, and doesn’t know the difference between the Packers and the Steelers. He thought Putin was the President of Germany, and can’t tell a Sunni from a Shi’ite. He apparently also thinks Czechoslovakia is still one... Read Full Story

For once, I didn’t need to scour the internet for weird news stories; they’re happening right here in our own city. Omaha police recently arrested 33-year-old Juan Briceno, for driving under the influence. They left him alone for two seconds in the office, and came back to discover he had used that time to drink the correction fluid. Apparently the man was convinced the it would help him pass the Breathalyzer test. It didn’t, but it did get him a trip to the emergency room, and provided... Read Full Story

Anybody for Truth or Dare? If you feel like playing chicken, do it on a calm and quiet country road; don’t be like the 18-year-old Australian who went on the freeway, in Melbourne…in his underwear.  You can guess what happened next; luckily the people in the car that hit him weren’t hurt, although their car was totaled. The idiot himself did end up in the hospital with critical injuries, but then he sort of asked for it. The Melbourne police dept. agrees: “Police are dismayed at the utter... Read Full Story

I still feel like fussing over hurricane Dolly. The name is a diminutive of “Dorothy”, which means ‘gift of God’. I don’t know that the people in Dolly’s path are in agreement with that, and I would like to make the case for a name change by suggesting some alternatives and their meanings. Dera, or Daere, of Welsh origin; meaning: “Fiend” The Hungarian Dasco, meaning: “God Judges” (although that one might leave the door open for idiotic evangelical pastors who decide the... Read Full Story

We still love you, Nanny Just in case you missed Larry King Live tonight; Fran Drescher did a nice job wiping the floor with Elizabeth Hasselbeck. While I wasn’t sure what the rehashing of Hasselbeck’s pathetic and teary performance (Emmy!!!) was going to bring to the show, the answer became clear when Drescher wondered out loud “whether this was how she fought with her husband.” “Why were you crying?” she asked the blonde demon when that bad, bad woman phoned in to defend herself... Read Full Story

  Some people really hate bugs. Isias Vidal Maceda of Eatentown, New Jersey, had had enough and decided to do something about the bugs crawling all over his apartment. I am not sure what type of insect spray he used, but it ignited a blast, and caused a fire that destroyed 80% of his apartment. I bet the roaches didn’t even die; they’re nasty like that. Meantime, tropical storm “Dolly” is apparently making itself ready to morph into a full blown hurricane. All of us, by now, know that a... Read Full Story

In Alexandria, Va., John and Yvonne Ho of Yvonne Hair and Nail Salon have cornered the market on Fish Pedicures. That’s right; customers can stick their feet in individual tanks where tiny carp, called Garra Rufa,  will eat the dead skin off their callused feet. Gross? I think so. However, not quite as gross as what the residents of Oahu, Honolulu have to put up with. After a giant dead sperm whale was transported to Hawaii Pacific University to be used as teaching tools, several chunks of... Read Full Story

Hand or ear? Why not the whole head? This time, Hamas’ poorly designed pink bunny (why do his whiskers meet at the back of his head?) did the unthinkable: he decided to steal money from his daddy. Unfortunately, unlike many other “children”, who at one point or another get away with this, bunny is caught and Muhammad-approved punishment needs to be given. The popular (why?) children’s show’s host then discusses whether he should have his hand chopped off or his ear. Everybody is upset at... Read Full Story

 Annoying? What, me? Jesse Jackson made a big oops today, and the nation is falling all over him. I’m sure that an argument can be made that he’s a proven hypocrite, okay; however, I’m equally sure that those of us who have kids act equally hypocritical on a daily basis. Telling others not to do something, while continuing to do it ourselves; well, it’s hardly a new thing.  Don’t get me wrong, he should still watch his words a lot more carefully, but I think the real shame is that his... Read Full Story

It’s summer, and that means it’s time for three year olds to have new adventures. In a fit of bravery, I decide to take my son Mendel to the movies. Having very cowardly allowed my in-laws to make the first trial run, I load him in the car, and take him to the dollar theater. Just in case this whole deal backfires, and he runs screaming from the theater within the first half hour, I decide to not overspend. Besides, $2 for Horton Hears a Who seems more than enough, considering Jim Carrey... Read Full Story