Correct Me If I’m Wrong…

For once, I didn’t need to scour the internet for weird news stories; they’re happening right here in our own city. Omaha police recently arrested 33-year-old Juan Briceno, for driving under the influence. They left him alone for two seconds in the office, and came back to discover he had used that time to drink the correction fluid. Apparently the man was convinced the it would help him pass the Breathalyzer test. It didn’t, but it did get him a trip to the emergency room, and provided the officers with a good laugh. His alcohol level was 0.28 percent, 3 ½ times the legal limit.

On July 23, the Omaha Humane Society pulled 117 cats, one raccoon, and one rabbit out of a North Omaha home. Some of the cats were dead, others were so sick they’ll have to be put down. Many of the cats had open sores, there were feces everywhere, and it’s not the first time. Owner Hanae Kaea has been cited twice before for cat-hoarding. She claimed she ‘rescued’ the feral cats, and the reason for the filth was that she had a doctor’s appointment to go to.

“I changed all of the litter boxes, I fed all of the animals and made sure they all had clean water and everything before I had to go to a doctor appointment. The next 5 or 6 hours I would have spent cleaning up after them like I always do,” she said. 

Right. Because she’s such a humanitarian, she once upon a time was cited for child neglect because she fed the cats instead of her teenage son. Except, she wasn’t at the doctor’s office; she was at the supermarket, getting arrested for shoplifting cat food. According to the police report, she smelled like cat pee when she was busted, which surely gave the cops enough reason to say Here we go again… they’ve pulled more than 200 cats out of her home in the past.