I have noticed that over the years companies have learned to rebrand themselves in ways that serve the company interests. A few notable examples would be; Bringing Jack back to the Jack n the Box commercials KFC making the colonel a wise cracking hip-hop snowboarding chicken hawker and then changing him back to the folksy old racist grandpa Mountain Dew branding itself the extreme soda (but aren’t all sodas extreme?) Anyways, I think that these types of changes brought the companies... Read Full Story

The other week I was lucky enough to hang out with my friend Catfish. I was already balls deep in some Mickey’s so Catfish went down to the store to get some supplies. Upon returning from the store I noticed that he had gotten something besides the usual 40 oz of malt liquor. He instead got the energy enhanced, 24 ounce malt liquor JOOSE. I think it tastes like gasoline mixed with tangerine juice. Catfish thinks it tastes like assholes. Here is how one company insider defines it... Read Full Story

Last night the American public was treated to round two of Obama vs. McCain. I only caught the first segment of the debate where the topic was, unsurprisingly, the economy. It is the hot topic on everyone’s mind these days and it was inevitable that it would be a point of focus. My problem with these debates is the constant rhetoric from both sides trying to distance themselves from the crisis and explaining how they wouldn’t have let this happen under “their plans.” Well obviously that... Read Full Story

If you didn’t know HSM3 is coming out pretty soon. If you didn’t know that, you probably also didn’t know that HSM3 is High School Musical 3, Disney’s extremely successful movie series. I have happened to catch a few of the previews on TV and I have to tell you I am extremely confused as to what this movie is about. Now what I am about to say may surprise you, but I have yet to catch either HSM or HSM2. Obviously, this is a movie with a lot of singing and dancing, but what else is it... Read Full Story

I have to admit. I have been down in the dumps recently. It feels like the world is caving in around me and that I am struggling just to keep my head above water. You see, I am going bald, in my pubes. It is terribly embarrassing. You think about it all day and night. It makes you think twice about taking your clothes off in order to make love to a sweet lady. I haven’t had sex with the lights on in months. This is never what I would have expected to feel like when I started to lose... Read Full Story

Well he has been back in the city for a while spreading his joy and good cheer to many. He has helped the disadvantaged and once again gained a strong foothold in the city by the bay. Kudos to you Count Assula! Why don’t you take a day off and enjoy your special day? I am not saying that this gives you carte blanches to do whatever that perverted mind of yours wants, you already have that. Go out and get in a knife fight, drink a quart of whiskey, pee yourself in a fancy restaurant, and... Read Full Story

Yves Rossy is some swiss dude that gets thrown out of planes with a backpack on that looks like he has wings. With these wings he can increase his time spent in the air and his ability to cover great distances in a short amount of time. This past week he was able to cross the English Channel with his special wings. I really don’t know how I feel about this accomplishment. The amazing thing is that this man is flying, which is tremendous. The boring thing is that his wings aren’t real and... Read Full Story

I found this photo today on Afrojacks.com. I don't know who this young gentleman is or what he does with his life but I want to meet him. Why? I will tell you why. That young man has confidence. Look at his face. That is a face that says I will drink from your tears of jealousy. A face that cries out I am all that is man. This kind of confident fellow is exactly the kind of person that all young people should model themselves after. He could take you one on one in basketball and... Read Full Story

I was watching TV last night in my underground fortress when I noticed that a new season of Dancing with the Stars is on. It surprised me because I had not been asked to be on the show yet. I figured by now they had gotten to my status of celebrity which is no status. I mean Kim Kardashian is on the show and she is famous for letting someone piss on her. Now I am not saying that I would let someone piss on me to be on DWTS but I would hope that some of the other things I have done in life... Read Full Story

Josh Howard doesn’t like the national anthem, so the fuck what? I myself don’t mind taking off my hat before a game and listening to the song. I have done it for years and never have been bothered by the need for it to be played before many events in our culture. At the same time I don’t care if some other guy doesn’t like the song. He, much more than myself, might have a better reason for not feeling that the anthem is something he can get behind. It is not Hip Hop enough. The SBB... Read Full Story