How Much to Help Your Ex After the Divorce
After the divorce is final, how does a man know when to stop helping his ex-wife, if he should ever stop? Many men wrestle with this question.
Some men simple leave their ex-wife and never see or speak to them again. If there are no children involved this is many times what happens and probably common. Children will make it harder to completely get rid of the ex-wife’s presence. In addition to children though, many times the ex-wife was dependant on her husband to do things like repair the car, mow the lawn or fix the plumbing. So, should the man continue to do some of these things for a period of time after the divorce, if the ex-wife asks him to? Or should the man simply abandon these former responsibilities immediately and tell the wife to try her best to get help? If your ex-wife got your former house does this make the answers different? It is possible to rationalize that if your ex-wife got the house in the divorce settlement than she should not ask you to help fix broken items ever again. But what if you got the house and she calls you up, from her apartment, a month after the divorce and needs your help fixing a car problem? Do you do it or tell her goodbye? What if it has been 6 months, or a year?
I would like to hear from my readers what they think. So please respond.
Depending on ones anger level about the divorce, some men, out of kindness, try to help the ex-wife transition into a new single life until she gets used to finding other help. I have seen this drag on for years. Some even still have sex with the ex after the divorce. Some men will help the ex-wife with some stuff but not others. When, if ever, do you say no? If the man gets a new girlfriend the situations becomes complex. Few, if any new girlfriends will tolerate her man helping an ex-wife too much. Many girlfriends even have a hard time telling if you are helping your children or helping the ex-wife more. This will cause confusion and tension in your new relationship.
Is it right to help the ex-wife at all? Is it more right if you (the man) were the one who asked for the divorce? These are the questions you will have to face when contemplating a divorce or after the divorce.
